To Mom

To Mom                   

It seems like just yesterday
Since I last heard your voice,
Yet I know that it's been two years ago.
So much has happened,
Although it seems everything remains the same.
I expect to see you walk through the door-
Your form so familiar, as I have known it all my life.
Your voice so familiar, as I have heard it all my life.
My mind can't release its vision of you from my brain,
My ears can't mute your voice,
My heart cannot say goodbye.
I hope I told you I love you enough,
Gave you enough hugs when you were down,
 as you have so often done to me.
I hope I told you you were my hero - in so many ways
 I cannot begin to describe.
You never let pain get in the way of what you wanted to do;
You comforted those around you, when you needed comfort yourself;
You gave so much  happiness and love to everyone 
 who crossed your path.
If I can take to my grave these things in which you have,
I will feel I have lived my life's purpose to be just like you.
Mom, I love you forever and I will never forget you
 and what you taught me.
You were there for me in so many ways and so many times.
You were there for me the first day of my life - 
 and I was there for you the last day of yours.


You may be gone, but certainly never forgotten.
I hope you found that peace you so desperately needed.


Dedicated to the memory of 
Cynthia Lavern Churchill-Karchunas
July 7, 1948 - July 8, 2008

                                   

The above is a poem I wrote for my mom, for the anniversary of her death just two years ago today. Yesterday was her birthday.  She would have been 62 years old.  It's so hard to see what I'm writing now, the tears in my eyes are making the screen so blurry and fuzzy!  I never thought I'd get over her death two years ago, as that was the WORST thing to happen in my life to date. But time marches on, and while her life stopped July 8, 2008, mine must go on without her. But she is never far from my thoughts. Never!!!

I used to write a lot of poems when I was younger, in high school. I was very shy and didn't have a lot of friends, so I wrote down what was in my heart.  I've got 200 poems. I'll have to share some more with you guys and gals if you'd like.  I wrote about all kinds of things that were happening in my life at that time.  My mom loved my poems and my creative writer instructor just raved about them and how I'd make a good writer someday. So what do I go into? Nursing!  Go figure!!!  In a few days, I'll pick another poem out and include it in a post.  Hope you like it!!

FRANKIE UPDATE:
He's still in the hospital and will be for quite some time. He's developed a new complication called a "hematoma" which is medical talk for "big bruise." Except in his case, it's inside his abdomen. They are thinking this might be what is blocking things up and why he can't keep anything down and why the bile in his stomach isn't going anywhere the way it should.  They have been checking his blood count every four hours!  Ouch!!  He is going to be evaluated today for a PICC line, which will make his life so much easier as he won't have to be poked every time for blood and his IV nutrition will flow through that line, too.  The doctors want him up and moving around, so that is what we will be focusing on today when "Nurse Ratchett" gets there!  I have a rheumatologist appointment today at 10:45am so I will go to my "home away from home" after the doctor appointment.  I've been running in so many different directions, I barely know what's up anymore!!!  I know one thing, I will NEVER take my husband for granted again for all he does for me. He is the sweetest and most kindest man I've ever met and I cherish him forever.

Hope you all are doing well.  I'm so sorry I haven't been on facebook for awhile or in the support group page. As soon as I get home tonight, I'll try and catch up on my readings and messages and sorting through all the pretty facebook gifts that have come my way.  Thank you, all, so much for your love and support. You all mean the world to me!!!

God bless,
Until next post,
Missy