Starting Fresh

Howdy, folks!  Yeesh....it only took me about an hour to get Blogger to cooperate with me and finally let me post on my own blog!!  It kept giving me some bogus error page with a code a mile long.  Like I know what they are talking about!!!  The internet is acting very funky lately.  I don't know if it is our computer, the DSL modem, QWest, Phoenix, or just plain ole me!  I've ran the mal-ware and anti-virus programs and everything checks out clean.  So I'll blame it all on Qwest.  It has always worked well for me in the past! Ha!  My motto is: if you can blame it on someone else, do it!!  Hehehe....

OK, now down to brass tacks.  I hope nobody minds that I decorated for the luck of the Irish.  I could use ANY kind of luck and this template is so cute.  LeeLou blogs has so many cute templates, you should check them out.  Just click on the link at the very top of my page or the very bottom and it should take you over to her site.  And if it doesn't, again, blame Qwest....LOL!

Right now, as we speak, our baby (the car) is over at Thunderbird Automotive having its little thermometer replaced and a coolant flush.  Come to find out, the last time we had the car serviced (this past summer), the place put in the wrong type.  It's green instead of red, how it should be for a Toyota.  I have absolutely NO idea what I'm talking about, I'm just repeating what I heard the mechanic telling Frankie.  This visit will be costing us about $250 dollars.  Thank God we had a little in savings.  Man, I sure do love our car, but keeping it on the road is sure expensive!!  The people there were awfully nice, though, and gave us a ride home in our own car!  It was soooo bizarre seeing someone else drive our car away!!!  They will come and pick us up when it is ready and then Frankie and I have lots of little errands to do.

I titled this post "Starting Fresh" as a way to get my mind into focus.  I've been doing a lot of panic mode and not enough of productive mode!!!  I've been letting the Devil get to me with worry and anxiety over everything....the car, Frankie's vomiting (which has improved since coming home from his latest hospital visit), our money flow and lack thereof and my bariatric surgery.  I haven't given any of these problems to the person that can help me.  The ONLY person.....GOD.  I've bumbled my way through January and half of February just worrying over EVERYTHING and letting petty little things get in my way.  Like if I leave a post and nobody comments on it and I look at other people's blogs and they get TONS of comments.  I always think I'm doing something wrong.  I'm not writing this blog for anyone BUT ME.  It's not an advertisement for anyone or anything else.  It's just a place where I can put my thoughts down and have a journal of events of what is happening in our lives.  So dear God, please forgive me and help me live my life.  I cannot do it without you.  And I promise to not "borrow" these worries back from you!  Ha!

I called Banner Bariatrics and had to leave a message with the insurance and authorization department.  It's been almost three or four weeks since they submitted the stuff and I haven't heard a word.  I'm waiting for a call back on that.  It would be so nice to know one way or another so I can start on Plan B, if need be.  Which is ask my doctor for either Medifast, the medical liquid diet program or Phentermine, a medicine that helps morbidly obese people lose weight.  I took it in 2000 and it worked like a charm, but when I came off of it, I regained all the weight, plus some.  I use food for a comfort source and this is sooo BAD.  So I'm trying very hard to curb my appetite!!  Not an easy feat, I tell you.  And I had to bump my Prednisone back up to 15mg because I was just absolutely miserable on 10mg.  I was so stiff I could barely move.  When I know for sure about the surgery, I'll down the Prednisone again and live with it until after the surgery.  But I thought no point being miserable when I still don't know if I can even have the surgery!

Well, that pretty much is all my news.  I'll end this post with one of my all time favorite Michael W. Smith songs, "Above All."  And a picture of my baby.....my furry, spoiled baby, that is.  Jackie LOVES my new tote bag.  I carry so much stuff around now that I have to carry a small tote bag.  Jack was pawing through it the other day, then got tired and fell asleep on top of it.  He is just tooooo cute.  Anyway, hope you all have a great day!!!

My poor, tired baby!  Couldn't even raise his sleep filled eyes to the camera!!

Today's A Better Day - I Think!

Hello, my dear friends!

Sorry about my tirade yesterday about the e-reader.  Oh, how I wanted to throw it out the window!!  I still do, but not as badly.  At least I managed to get some help via chat support with Adobe Digital Editions.  Part of the problem was I had over-activated the device, so it wouldn't accept anything onto the reader because the books are naturally copy-right material.  And Adobe has to accept each piece of equipment that will be taking these books.  Once my tech support guy re-activated my account, I could put books back onto the reader.  Yay for that.  A lot of the books have either NO covers or generic, so picking out a book is like going to a book shelf with a blind fold on.  What you grab is what you get!!  But a least I think I can make it now until I save up a hundred years for the Nook I want so badly. (This being a hint to my dad, Gina, my hubby, and anyone who will take pity on me!!  A nook would help me recover very nicely from the big scary surgery I might be having soon.....).

I did have a chuckle in all my distress yesterday.  My assistant, who shall remain nameless, was helping me to no end:

Helping me do WHAT, I have NO idea!!  I guess he thought he would fit in there for a nice, cozy nap.  He's in the box that I was going to package that hunk of junk Literati in and he beat me to it.  That's a cat for ya!!  :0)

 

I don't think I have a single box or purse that this cat HASN'T been in.  He doesn't care if he fits really well into it at all, either!  That's my boy!!

No other news to report, except that I changed Frankie's pain patch down to 125mcg yesterday and he has vomited twice since.  I guess it takes time to leave the body, if this is indeed the cause of the vomiting.  I don't think we'll ever know.  He sees his doctor (primary care) on Monday, who will probably refer him out to a gastro-intestinal doctor.

I still haven't heard about my surgery yet.  My legs are slightly better, now that I am back on to the 15mg of Prednisone.  As soon as I hear, I'll drop it back down to 10mg.  It's such a hard drug to live without!!!

Hope you all are having a great day.  I got the special page up for my dad & Gina.  I don't know if they have seen it yet, but I hope they like it.  Everyone else please go take a peak at it.  Let me know what you think.  :0)

Have a good night and I'll see how I'm doing tomorrow.  I may participate in Java's "Meet Me On Monday" blog hop.  That is so fun!!  But we shall see how the ole' back and legs are doing.

God bless ya all!

Until next post,

Painful Weekend

Howdy, everyone!  I'm so sorry I haven't blogged in awhile, I just have had so many problems with my back and left shoulder that sitting up in a chair for any length of time is torture!!  I figured I'd come and spend a short while on the computer while my hubby is taking a nap.  Now, if I had my laptop (which is in laptop heaven) I could lay in bed and compute in comfort.  But not any time too soon.  Gotta get the surgery, then a job, then I can get a laptop and a Barnes & Noble Nook e-reader.  I've already got my wish list!!!

My hubby is doing "status quo."  He has had some periods of nausea and vomiting since coming home from the hospital.  We never really "fixed" anything while he was there!  We had to go to get his prescription pain patches at the pharmacy and when I came home, I read the little insert that comes with the prescription information.  I read off the side effects and Frankie had almost EVERY ONE of the side effects.  Painful stomach, nausea, vomiting, constipation, diarrhea, ect.  And those are just the side effects Frankie has had....so we are going to ask Dr. P about this.  He is Frankie's pain specialist and orders the patches.  Maybe if he tried something different, he could stop heaving up his breakfast and lunch every day!!!  It has to be something with the medicines he takes.  He's had about every test known to man and they keep coming up negative.  Which is good news, but also news that we haven't found the source of his misery yet.  Poor guy!!  Keep your fingers crossed that his appointment on Wednesday of next week will go OK and maybe get him on something else.

I've been hanging in there.  I've been on 10mg of Prednisone for about two weeks now.  It's horrible.  I'm so stiff in the morning, I feel like the tin man in the "Wizard of Oz."  I need some joint oil to spray on......I wish!!  And next week I should find out if my bariatric surgery is covered.  If it is, then I start all the tests and I work on going down to the final 5mg of Prednisone.  That would make it going from 20mg (which I've taken for years now) to 5mg a day.  I think I'll have to go in for my surgery on a stretcher!!  Which, if you think about it, I will be doing that anyway!!  LOL.....  don't mind me.  I'm demented!!

We've been having a beautiful weather snap, too.  It was in the 70's today.  But I hear we are due for rain on Monday and cooler temps.  Of course!  We just had the car washed!

Nothing else to report.  I'm just tryin' to survive and get through each day with hope that my insurance will cover my surgery.  I never have hoped or wished for anything like this or as strongly as I do now.  I NEED this surgery to help me back to a healthy weight.  And then I'm gonna STAY that way if it's the last thing I do!!

Hope you all are well and enjoying the weekend!!!
Big hugs,
God bless,

Prednisone, Anyone?

Howdy, all!

Hope you are all recovered from Thanksgiving and Black Friday and are looking forward to Christmas (yay!) and the fresh New Year to come.  God, I hope it's a better year all around.  I'm having to go down on my Prednisone or the bariatric surgeon won't operate on me due to increased infected risk.  I can see his point and he wants my odds of success to be as high as they can be, but God....oh, dear God am I suffering.  If anyone ever offers you Prednisone, JUST SAY NO!  I wish I would have about 5 years ago when I was started on it when I was having a bad flare of my rheumatoid arthritis and nothing else was working.  Now I'm stuck on the damn stuff and can't function at the 10mg I was started on way back when.  I've been on 20mg a day for about two years and when I got down to the 10mg (following my rheumy's advice) I could hardly get out of bed.  I walked like the tin soldier and every joint in my body just ached.  After consulting Dr. Schranz (my nice mother-in-law!) we think I took too much of a jump from 20 to 10 so now I'm on 15mg.  I feel a little better.  At least I can walk for a longer time, but I can't stand at all now.  All my weight is up front and pulls on my lower back when I stand and oh, my dear God, it hurts SO bad!  It's those moments that keep me going and thinking that the surgery is worth the going down on the Prednisone and all the misery that it entails.  Boy, I've got myself in such a bind and gaining all this weight is my own stupid fault!!  I promise, God, if you will help me get thin again I WON'T mess it up!!

My husband is not doing too much better.  He is having problems with vomiting about 2-3 times a day now.  And really BIG, LARGE amounts!  We've had him try everything: tea, toast, eating small meals several times a day and the list goes on.  Even his anti-nausea medication isn't working anymore.  I've asked him if he's stressed about anything and he says no, but sometimes you can be worrying about things and not even know it. It lurks below the surface.  I just don't know what to do.  Luckily he has a doc's appointment coming up.  He may need to see a gastro doctor.  We shall see.

Nothing else going on.  We're just survivin' the best we can.  I go on the computer and go on "blog hops" a lot to get my mind off things and how awful I feel.  It really does help and you meet a lot of new and interesting people by "following" their blogs.  If you got a blog, try the two blog hops I have up currently in my left sidebar.  I highly recommend them!

Thank you so very much for all your sweet comments and advice.  My Thanksgiving post had 9 comments...wow!  That is the most I had EVER!!  So keep 'em coming.  I love knowing what you guys are thinking and feeling.  Don't be shy!!

To end this post I'll put in another one of my poems and a pretty picture.  I hope you guys are liking this new feature I'm doing.  :0)

 A Friend Is A Friend

You always were so cheery and bright
I would sit back to see you succeed through the day
And sit in gloom as you would shine through the night.
You always knew where you want to be,
Who you are and how to get there;
You even tried to show me.

A friend is a friend is a friend.
Someone who is there
To love and cherish
A friend is someone who'll always care.
A friend is a friend is a friend
Someone who is true
And loves through every trial
To talk to when you are blue.
A friend loves you through it all
Through good times and bad
And they even pick you up when you fall.
A true friend is a person you can't easily forget
All the times shared are stuck in your mind
And all those times you will never regret.

When I first thought of leaving
I shook my head
Not knowing what I was believing.
I will keep you close to my heart
For always and eternity
As I wake up today for a new start.
Don't be sad for me not being here, friend of mine,
Don't cry nor weep but do one last thing for me-
Let that internal light that was always there shine.  

This photo was taken by my soon-to-be stepmom, Gina.  She is an awesome photographer. This picture was taken in Oklahoma, where she lives.  Please stop by her blog and say hi and that Missy sent ya!  She'll love it!!. Just click here to visit her KEWL blog!!     

That pretty much does it!  Wish me luck on my doctor's appointment tomorrow.  I'm gonna give her an earful about the Prednisone.  Heck, she probably runs screaming for the hills when she knows I'm coming! Ha!

Have a great night!
God bless!

Singin' The Prednisone Blues

Hello, everyone!!!

As the title post says, I am definitely singing the predensione blues.  This week I'm on 10mg a day, which is half of the 20 mg I was on before.  It takes me about one hour to get from the bedroom to the bathroom in the morning, right when I first get up.  Thank God for the narrow hallways, as I hold on to both sides to give me support down the hall.  Then in the sink I lean on that to wash my face and brush my teeth.  What is so amazing to think about was I was on 10mg a day about 3 years ago and felt fine!  But then I started gaining weight and that is what really put added strain on my bones and joints.  I have no one to blame but ME!!  I wish I could go back in time and not have gained that weight.  But as they say, hind sight is ALWAYS 20/20.  How true!!
I guess I'm "paying the piper" like my dad always said!!  And what a piper to play!!

As you all may know, I recently received "The Sylish Blogger Award."  Here are some of the lucky blogs I blessed the award with.  Some have chosen to receive it and put it on their blog, and others have not.  It's their choice.  Please stop by their sites and show their blog some love!! :0)  Here's the list:

My Life In A Blog  This is one of my favorite blogs.  Not because Gina is my dad's girlfriend, but because I like her as a person and her blog shows her hard work!  :0)

Looney Life - My Life As A Housewife and Mom
This is one of my dearest childhood friends that we found each other on Facebook and then on Blogger!  She has such a beautifully decorated blog, you should stop and see it.  She already decorated for Christmas, which is her (and mine!) favorite time of the year!!

A Real (Upstate) NY Housewife  This, too, is one of my favorite blogs.  Martha really says it like it is and I LOVE that in a person.  She is involved now in a campaign where you write a post a month for November and combining that with a letter campaign where you write letters to your parents, ex boyfriend/husband, to a stranger, ect.  The letters are very good!!  Stop by and see for yourself!!

Life And Fibromyalagia   I just love this blog by Heather!  She puts her whole heart and body into it and it shows!  She just recently had her mother die from complications of Alzheimer's disease was taking care of her at her childhood home.  And what a fine job Heather did considering she, herself, suffers from fibromyalgia.  All mother's should be as lucky to have such a devoted and caring daughter.  When you have a moment, stop by her site.

When Hello Means Goodbye
This is a cute site featuring Grayden, a precocious 2 year old that has completely filled the hearts of his adopted mom and dad.  The adoptive parents went through a horrible nightmare of losing an infant just moments after he was born.  Very sad story, but incredible blog.

OK, that is it for the award round-up, I will be giving out more soon to those sites I find adorable and educational!!  So watch out, I may be surprising you with the award!!

Now for the beautiful scenic picture.  Here goes:

This was taken when my mom, dad, me and Frankie went to the Wild Animal Park in Escondido, California.  We had so much fun on that trip and took so many pictures.  I love pictures - in case you didn't know that...LOL!!!!!!

Here's the poem I selected for this post.  I hope you like it:

The Conch          

I first saw the conch
When I was walking on the beach.
Just walking,
It came from nowhere
Going absolutely anywhere.
I looked and it was there.
I leaped forward
As I had never seen one before.
It was so beautiful,
And curved with an angels touch
I just knew it's sound would be perfect.
Calling anywhere to anyone,
Calling them to come join me
To make me happy,
To lessen my sorrow.
Yes, I wanted to hear it
So bad that it ached the
Edges of my heart.
I have called others before
But they are close
But yet far away.
Never there when I need them
But always home.
I need that conch
To reach a lonely heart
That matches my heart.
It will call far
And I will have a new and better chance.
As I reach down for the conch,
I am just brushing sand     
With fingertips.
It is like there was no conch
Only my silly dreams and
It is like I imagined it.
I stand up,
Heart broken for a moment
While a new wish fills my heart.
Someday I will have that conch
And it will bring me a love so deep
I never could have imagined.

Hope everyone has a great Saturday and Sunday.  Geez, it's so hard for me to think today what with having fibro fog and all.  And I just used some of my Polar Frost gel and got some of it in my eye!  Aye Carumba!!!!!  That BURNS!!

Have a great weekend!
God bless!