You All Win!

Howdy, dear friends!!!
Just a quickie right now to let you know I will NOT be deleting my blog.  Looking back over the pages and realizing how many truly wonderful friends and family I have that are so very supportive, how can I delete my blog in good confidence?  Impossible!!!  I have a camera full of pictures I will be working on soon, along with a nice blog about what I've been up to these past few months.  Look for that in the next week.
Love ya guys and gals!
Thank you for everything!
Hugs,

Shall I Go?

Howdy!
I know it's been forever since I last posted.  I've been going through a lot these days and I just haven't been up to using the computer.  It's so hard for me, with how my back is, to use the desk computer.  I'd absolutely LOVE a tablet computer for Christmas....so Santa, if you are out there, that is my request!  It would be so much easier for me to be on the bed and able to compute, than spending hours of back-breaking time at the computer in the computer chair.  But, I'm happy to have a computer.  I remember the days after my laptop died and we had NO computer.  That was rough.


Anyway, I can't stay long as my hubby has a doctor's appointment in an hour.  He sees the pain specialist today. 


I have been seriously considering to delete my blog.  It just is getting too difficult to maintain.  I would have hoped that with losing weight, it would have improved my back and neuropathy pains, but it hasn't.  I think it's almost worse.  But don't worry, I'm not going to gain weight to make it better!!!  I'm still on a zillion meds and my rheumatologist switched me to Cymbalta when the Savella was causing too many weird side effects.  The Cymbalta has been great for the fibro, but it's causing my blood pressure to shoot sky high!!  Ah, good ole' side effects!!


So, to my readers of my blog, if you want me to continue the blog, please let me know via the comments section.  I'd love your opinion!!  If you like reading my blabber, I'll continue!!  :0)


Hugs,

Happy Fall!

Ah, Fall.  I remember it very well.  I grew up in a small community on Lake Michigan called St. Joseph.  I honestly loved every season on Lake Michigan, but my very favorite was rustic Fall, with its billowing trees of yellow-orange leaves, the air tinged with smoke from burning piles of leaves on fall lawns and going on hay rides (even though I broke my glasses at one when I was a teenager) at Love Creek, which was a charming park of walking trails for as long as the eye could see.  Oh, how I miss those days of Fall of my youth.  Arizona is a charming state with its majestic mountains, but Fall just doesn't get here like it did in Michigan.

Sorry I haven't been blogging too much.  I actually haven't been on the computer too much.  Just haven't been in the mood.  I've been pulling out old books in the ole' Kindle and reading to my heart's content.  When I have been on the computer, it is just to check my e-mail or to look at the online bariatric support group.  I joined one awhile ago after going through my period of "bariatric blues."  Ever since the surgery, I just haven't been interested in food.  Nothing tastes good, nothing even sounds good.  I have so many rules, it's not funny.  I'm supposed to eat this, I can't eat that, do this, do that.... on and on.  I'm supposed to eat so much protein, it comes out the top of my head!!  Figuratively, of course....anyway, I don't want to even think about it.  So I read instead!

My mom, in front of Lake Michigan, in the fall

   My mom loved to read.  In fact, I am reading some of her favorite books.  She loved Janet Evanovich and the adventures of "Stephanie Plum."  I used to balk at that and didn't read them when she wanted me to.  Now, I'm embarrassed to say that her books are dynomite!!  I've loved every one and am looking forward to her latest, number 18, that is coming out in October.  What a great fall read!!  How I wish Mom were here so I could discuss with her some of the funniest escapades that Miss Plum would engage on....

The beginning of Old Towne St. Joseph
I hope you all have a great Fall season.
May all your leaves turn a beautiful rustic shade of red, orange, brown and gold.  Enjoy every leaf...especially for those in areas where Fall is not greatly known...like Southern AZ!!!!

God Bless,

Thanx, Gina, for my new fall siggy!!  :)

                        

Good Golly!

Howdy, everyone!  I am just SO embarrassed to show myself around in here.  I re-read the post I did the other day, (when I thought it was Wednesday but it was Tuesday) and just about died!  First of all, there were so many typos.  I'm such a perfectionist.  Secondly, I got the year of my mom's death wrong (it was 2008, NOT 2003) and thirdly, I almost screwed up my whole blog by redecorating it and deleting things I still needed!!!  My comments are a mess.  They don't show up on the blog, but I saw them in the settings for Blogger.  I use a platform called "Disgus" for my comments and accidently deleted it, so it wasn't available to visitors to use.  They used the Blogger platform instead.  I fixed the problem and added the Disgus widget back onto the blog, but now it won't import the comments from Blogger! And just when things can't get anymore screwy, I deleted my networked blog widget and had to put THAT back on!!!  Do I have a brain?  I think NOT!!!!  I need a vacation to a tiny remote island where I can sit in a beach chair, under a palm tree with a drink with a tiny umbrella in it.  Do you think that would work?  Knowing my luck, the WORST hurricane known to man would come!!

Thank you so much for commenting on my post about my mom.  One visitor had asked me how I do it, survive without my mom, and the answer is: one day at a time.  And when it gets really hard, one MINUTE at a time.  I can't believe it's been over three years since I last heard her voice, her laugh and felt her hugging me.  It tears me up inside.  It's like a giant wave that overwhelms me and then goes back to sea and gives me a  little peace.  Losing her was the hardest thing I have faced in my life to date.  And I do agree with Heather (a blog buddy of mine who recently lost her mom, too) that they are up in Heaven shaking their heads at us.  If my mom could have read that post I butchered so badly, she would have been on my case for sure!  Her favorite subject was English and she took great joy in pointing out my typos!  :0)

I went to the rheumatologist recently and he lowered my dose of Savella to 25mg twice a day and added 600mg of Ibuprofen three times a day.  My fibro has been so-so.  I still get those bad pains in the legs from the neuropathy and the medications do little to stop it.  My primary care doc is in the process of weaning me off the morphine.  I was on 200mg a day, now it is 160mg a day.  My back is the usual horrible.  But I want to return to work soon and don't want all those medications hanging over my head.  It just wouldn't look good, would it?  Perhaps I'm nuts to think that way!!!

I hope everyone has a great day and thank you for reading my posts.. no matter how many typos I do!!

Hugs,

My Surgery Date!!!!

Howdy, folks!!!

The most incredible thing happened to me today, made almost all my pain go away for a minute or two.  And boy, did I wake up with an incredible headache.  I thought I might be seeing a trip to the hospital in the future, it was that bad.  And then the phone rang and guess who it was?  Banner Health System calling me to SCHEDULE MY SURGERY DATE!!!  YIPEEE!!  I crossed all the hurdles and finally came out on top.  My surgery will be April 18th, little under a month.  The lady said that the bariatric clinic will be calling me soon with the pre-op instructions and I'm on my way.  I've already got the protein drinks and vitamins and am all set to go.  I'm so excited to be on my way to a new life.  Where I can hopefully get back to work again!!!  Yipppee!!!!

Big thanks to Lorie and Shawn for constantly writing in my comments with your thoughts and prayers.  I greatly appreciate it.  I'm so sorry I haven't been writing much lately, I've just had the monster flare-up from hell and couldn't even sit in the computer chair for more than a minute or two.  But I've been thinking about all my blog buddies.  Oh, speaking of which, when I switched my blog theme over, I mistakingly lost half of my blog buddy list.  So if you don't see your blog on my list and would like to be added on to it, please add your name and URL in my comments and I'll get that up.  Promise!!!

Tomorrow I am going to go a giveaway for some pain drops that work pretty well.  I feel OK enough to do that and can sit for a longer time in the chair.  So be looking forward to that!  Another news tidbit:  I can no longer get my mail in the new mail server I signed up with at in.com.  So please send your email to me by viewing my blog profile.  I'm going back to google mail.

That'll be it today.  Just wanted to let you know about my exciting news.  And here's a pic of my back to normal Jack.  He's really enjoying his gourmet cat food served on a dish!  He's too cute!!  And I'm glad he's back to normal.  He's done with the antibiotic right now. Yay!!!

Does this cat look a little TOO cozy to you?  What a life.  Where do you sign up??

Y'all have a great day and talk with you tomorrow.  And don't forget about my giveaway!
Hugs,

A Blast From the Past...and BIG NEWS!

Howdy, friends!!!

I bet you all have been wondering what happened to me as I haven't blogged in over a week.  Big thank you to Shawn who actually wrote in my guest book to wish me well and wondered where I was at over this past week.  Thank you, Shawn.  It's always nice to be missed!  :0)

This past week was NOT my best week.  I've had severe flare-up and every time I would sit upright, fire would spread throughout my legs and feet.  Not fun!  And it didn't take it very long to start, either.  I would be up for a minute and then my feet would be horrible!!  My lower back wasn't much better, either. So that is why I couldn't blog very much this week.  I missed you all like crazy!  I wish I had a lap top, so when those flare-ups happened, I'd be all set!  I could lay in bed and tap away and keep up with you all! (This is another little hint for my dear ole' dad for a lap top!!  He got HIS as a gift from his brother & sister...and he wasn't even having surgery!!  How do you like that!!)  Also, if anyone is selling a lap top, please let me know.  If the price is right, I'll nab it!  I want a lap top soooo bad!

My feet are starting up again, so I'm gonna hurry and let you all in on the BIG NEWS.  I was approved this past week for my bariatric surgery!!!!  Isn't that great?  I've had to go to the diagnostic test lab twice this week, on Monday to get a chest x-ray and again on Tuesday to get the abdomen & legs ultrasound.  I will be be getting the labs and the upper GI on March 24.  Isn't that horrible that I gotta wait until another whole month for those tests?  Something about they are all booked up and the earliest in was March.  Luckily, I passed the BIG test....I can get my surgery!!!!!!!  Yippppeee!!!

Nothing much else going on here except my surgery news.  I'm so excited (and scared!) and I thank each and every one of you for praying for me.  There are strength in numbers and God has heard us all.  Thank you, Jesus and to you, all my friends!!!

Hope your life is going OK.  I'm gonna try and look around at blogs and see what's happening.  I pray for each and every one of you!!!

I'll keep in touch better, I promise.  Even if just to give you an update.  I'll leave you with a parting picture of Jack....looking so nervous about his mommy's update surgery! Cats...gotta love 'em!

God bless you all,

Blog Break

Hello, everyone!

I'm so sorry to not have posted in a long time.  Heck, 3 days IS a long time in computer time, isn't it?  A lot can happen in 3 days!!  Not too much has been going on here, I just have had a HORRIBLE time with my right leg and foot.  My foot is almost always burning, it feels like someone has a fire torch on it 24/7.  And if that weren't enough torture, my thigh muscle keeps cramping and hurting.  And throw in some low back pain from my compressed lumbar vertabrae and you've got ME in a nutshell!!!

We are in for some kind of a storm but it hasn't happened for us in Phoenix yet.  Or at least over our lil' house.  The humidity is up, though, I can feel it in my bones.  What they say is true...you can tell the weather from your bones if you've got arthritis.  Anyway, the wind has definitely picked up and the sky shows nasty storm clouds.  Other than that, we've had good weather here the past week.  Can't complain about that!  :0)

Frankie and I have been in bed, watching retro TV, all day yesterday and we probably will again tonight.  Retro TV is soooo cool!  We've been watching old TV shows like "Incredible Hulk", "A-Team", "Knight Rider", "Rockford Files" and "Dragnet."  I love it when they show those old commercials, too.  So thank you to Prescott, AZ for providing our entertainment the past 3 days!!  :0)

Frankie was doing very well with his vomiting and hadn't done it all week, UNTIL last night and he really vomited for all he was worth!  Poor guy.  I know he hates this and so do I.  But I'm powerless to stop it.  We have tried everything!!  So if anyone knows of an old (or new!) trick to stop nausea/vomiting, let us know!!

OK....a few days ago I received an email from this lady in the London, UK region who said she stumbled upon my blog and loved it, so she featured it on her website and in her blog directory.  I'm gonna try to link to her site via the link she sent me on the side bar.  I'll put it on the right side bar, underneath my Twitter box.  Please visit her site and give her blog some "love", as they say!  And thank you to Sheila (the owner of the site) for featuring my lil' blog in your directory!

That's it for now.  My right leg has had it and it's all numb.  It's just been so BAD recently!!  Pray for me that it will get better.  As a parting gift, let me leave you with a fantastic Michael W. Smith song (I mean really....which song of his is NOT fantastic?) called "This Is Your Time."  My mom and I just absolutely loved this song!  Enjoy!

Hope you all have a GREAT Saturday!!  Love n' hugs to all of you!!
PS....I still haven't heard anything from the Bariatric clinic about my surgery.  I'll have to call again on Monday and see what's up.  My guess is they haven't heard anything back, yet.  Gotta love insurance companies!!!

Starting Fresh

Howdy, folks!  Yeesh....it only took me about an hour to get Blogger to cooperate with me and finally let me post on my own blog!!  It kept giving me some bogus error page with a code a mile long.  Like I know what they are talking about!!!  The internet is acting very funky lately.  I don't know if it is our computer, the DSL modem, QWest, Phoenix, or just plain ole me!  I've ran the mal-ware and anti-virus programs and everything checks out clean.  So I'll blame it all on Qwest.  It has always worked well for me in the past! Ha!  My motto is: if you can blame it on someone else, do it!!  Hehehe....

OK, now down to brass tacks.  I hope nobody minds that I decorated for the luck of the Irish.  I could use ANY kind of luck and this template is so cute.  LeeLou blogs has so many cute templates, you should check them out.  Just click on the link at the very top of my page or the very bottom and it should take you over to her site.  And if it doesn't, again, blame Qwest....LOL!

Right now, as we speak, our baby (the car) is over at Thunderbird Automotive having its little thermometer replaced and a coolant flush.  Come to find out, the last time we had the car serviced (this past summer), the place put in the wrong type.  It's green instead of red, how it should be for a Toyota.  I have absolutely NO idea what I'm talking about, I'm just repeating what I heard the mechanic telling Frankie.  This visit will be costing us about $250 dollars.  Thank God we had a little in savings.  Man, I sure do love our car, but keeping it on the road is sure expensive!!  The people there were awfully nice, though, and gave us a ride home in our own car!  It was soooo bizarre seeing someone else drive our car away!!!  They will come and pick us up when it is ready and then Frankie and I have lots of little errands to do.

I titled this post "Starting Fresh" as a way to get my mind into focus.  I've been doing a lot of panic mode and not enough of productive mode!!!  I've been letting the Devil get to me with worry and anxiety over everything....the car, Frankie's vomiting (which has improved since coming home from his latest hospital visit), our money flow and lack thereof and my bariatric surgery.  I haven't given any of these problems to the person that can help me.  The ONLY person.....GOD.  I've bumbled my way through January and half of February just worrying over EVERYTHING and letting petty little things get in my way.  Like if I leave a post and nobody comments on it and I look at other people's blogs and they get TONS of comments.  I always think I'm doing something wrong.  I'm not writing this blog for anyone BUT ME.  It's not an advertisement for anyone or anything else.  It's just a place where I can put my thoughts down and have a journal of events of what is happening in our lives.  So dear God, please forgive me and help me live my life.  I cannot do it without you.  And I promise to not "borrow" these worries back from you!  Ha!

I called Banner Bariatrics and had to leave a message with the insurance and authorization department.  It's been almost three or four weeks since they submitted the stuff and I haven't heard a word.  I'm waiting for a call back on that.  It would be so nice to know one way or another so I can start on Plan B, if need be.  Which is ask my doctor for either Medifast, the medical liquid diet program or Phentermine, a medicine that helps morbidly obese people lose weight.  I took it in 2000 and it worked like a charm, but when I came off of it, I regained all the weight, plus some.  I use food for a comfort source and this is sooo BAD.  So I'm trying very hard to curb my appetite!!  Not an easy feat, I tell you.  And I had to bump my Prednisone back up to 15mg because I was just absolutely miserable on 10mg.  I was so stiff I could barely move.  When I know for sure about the surgery, I'll down the Prednisone again and live with it until after the surgery.  But I thought no point being miserable when I still don't know if I can even have the surgery!

Well, that pretty much is all my news.  I'll end this post with one of my all time favorite Michael W. Smith songs, "Above All."  And a picture of my baby.....my furry, spoiled baby, that is.  Jackie LOVES my new tote bag.  I carry so much stuff around now that I have to carry a small tote bag.  Jack was pawing through it the other day, then got tired and fell asleep on top of it.  He is just tooooo cute.  Anyway, hope you all have a great day!!!

My poor, tired baby!  Couldn't even raise his sleep filled eyes to the camera!!

Bummer Day

This is another picture of my mom that captures EXACTLY how I feel today.  Just bummed out.  For one thing, I miss my mom more than words could ever begin to say.  I was thinking today that I haven't spoken to my mom in almost three years this coming July.  Three years I haven't heard her laugh, or sing or talk.  I can't tell her all that has happened since she died.  I just am missing her very hard this week for some reason.  It's like a tidal wave of grief that you must ride and once it passes, that grief just goes away until the next wave.  I hate this! 

Another thing that has me bummed is I still haven't heard from the bariatric clinic about my surgery and the insurance.  I'm afraid to call them, as I don't think I would survive the answer at this point.  I just KNOW they are going to turn me down.  Earlier this week on the news they had a report that the state is refusing to authorize ORGAN TRANSPLANTS.  One guy already died and many others are about to because of this.  If they are doing that, what chance does my surgery have of being authorized?  It's not near the magnitude of an organ transplant!!  I hear that people are going south of the border for surgery.  I may be in that line-up!  Who knows?  Our brilliant governor thinks the answer to our budget problem is to take childless couples OFF state insurance.  Oh, great!  Now I'm being discriminated against, too, because I don't have children!!  Thank God it has to go through the federal avenues to be approved and I CANNOT believe that this country would go that low and approve that.  If it does, Canada, here I come!!!!  Why can't they take money from the over blown salaries these people get?  Why is the fix for state AND federal budgets always to take away from the poor and elderly?  It just drives me bananas!!

I just wish I could turn the clock back to nursing school when I was thin, had a good credit score, could take a shower unaided and ready to tackle the world.  No fibro. No arthritis. I could move around with ease.  And I took it all for granted!  Now I've got myself into a big pickle that might lose medical insurance in October.  If I don't get that surgery, I'll see if my doctor will prescribe that diet pill for me, Phentermine.  I took it for a short time when I was living in Yuma and needed to lose weight.  I lost about 90 pounds on it.  Problem was, when I stopped it, I started over eating again.  I'll worry about that later.  I just need to drop pounds NOW and get back to work and get us out of this poverty situation.

OK, enough.  I'm sorry to drone on and on.  But it felt good to get that all out.  Blogging is very therapeutic.  I don't know what I'd do without it.  I've "met" so many neat people in various stages of life.  I'm so grateful for my blog and reading blogs of others.

I hope you all are having a better day.  Thanks for listening to me.  :0)

God bless,

Stay warm, my dear friends!

Can You BELIEVE It's Almost Christmas Again?

Howdy, fine friends!  As my post states, can you believe the holiday season is fast approaching and pretty soon we will be in the homes of our loved ones and friends, wishing everyone Christmas cheer and good fortune for the coming year.  My blog is not a year old yet, not until May, but I have gone so far with it since I first started blogging.  Looking back at all my posts, I see myself in many different lights....cheerful, frustrated, happy, the whole capult of emotions!  But I am so thankful for all my friends and family that words cannot adequately express it.  And I am sooo thankful that all my blogger friends STILL read my blog!  I was afraid of boring everyone, so I try to think of fun things to do instead of just dwelling on how my leg is killing me and my back is atrocious.  I find that blogging helps me forget.  And for that, I am very grateful!!!  And I thank the good Lord above, too.  Always and forever.

Today we have to brave Walmart again to return my digital frame key chain that won't work on my computer.  It keeps seeing it as a CD player (it's a USB hook-up) and no matter how hard I try, I can't change that.  So I'm gonna change it out for another one that hopefully works!!  Those digital frames are sooo neat.  I'd love a big one for our bedroom, but those are over $100.00.  Our budge just can't support that.  So hopefully I can find a digital photo key chain that works!  Wish me luck!!

I LOVE having my grandma here with us.  She has been such a joy and a blessing.  We are having SO much fun going out to eat, looking at lights, talking and just being together.  I'm gonna start taking pictures with my new camera over Christmas, so be looking for that.  We'll be going over to Frankie's sister's house and it should be absolutely devine and Barbara is a fabulous cook.  I'm very excited for Christmas to come this year.  I can't remember the last time I had Christmas with her.  She would always spend it in Texas when we all lived in Yuma.  So it definitely is time for a switch-a-roo!!

Jack is doing good, he's not bothering Grandma like he did when she first came.  I think he has gotten the hint that she is just NOT a cat OR dog person.  I have a few new pics of my boy that I'll post.  It works out great that she sleeps out on the couch (and says that is perfectly fine for her - it's comfortable) and we keep Jack in with us and he can lay on our bed like he's used to, so he hasn't thrown any further fits!  What a silly kitty!!!

My two men.  One happy, one grouchy....that would be Jack! He hates the flash of the camera in his eyes. The next pic is of Jack all sacked out on our new quilt and sheets. I don't know why we even bought him his own kitty bed. He rarely sleeps in it!!  Maybe if I got HIM a new sheet set he'd sleep in it? :0)

 My zany granny doing her "swine flue days" imitation!  This was her way of hiding her so-called wrinkles.  Heck, for 87 years old, I think she looks great!!!  But there is NO convincing her!  I wanted a picture and this was the only way of getting it!!  :0)

Now on to the contest winners.  I've heard from THREE of you, I need the other TWO names and addresses before I can send them on to the company that is sponsoring my giveaway.  So please drop me an email soon.  Let's get them addresses out to the company.

If I DON'T hear from the two remaining names, I will be picking more winners in two days.

Thank you!!!

That's all the news so far.  Hope you all are happy and healthy this holiday season.  I'm so happy to be spending it with all my new blogger friends!!
God bless,

"Meet Me Monday" Blog Hop

Good Monday, everyone!
Well, we had a little repeat of what happened yesterday morning with Frankie vomiting in the morning but I did NOT have any diarrhea!  Yay!  We figured that maybe the oatmeal he has for breakfast is what is doing it.  Tomorrow he has an appointment with his pain specialist, so we'll see what he has to say about the matter.  Maybe it's a combination of meds and foods....who knows!!

OK!  Today is "Meet Me Monday" where you answer five questions about yourself and it's also a blog hop, too.  It sounded fun, so I decided to try it out here on my blog.  What an interesting way to get to know each other.  The button to join along with the blog hop is right up top on the right hand side bar.  I do hope that many will partake in this "getting to know you" blog hop.  So here goes:

QUESTIONS:

1.  Do you eat Sushi?
2.  What kind of bath soap do you use?
3.  How often do you talk to your Mom?
4.  What TV shows do you watch on a regular basis?
5.  Did you start Christmas shopping yet?

ANSWERS:

1.  Heck no!  I know my grandpa always told me to always try something first, then say I don't like it, but in this case, just looking at Sushi is enough to make me run for the exit door!
2.  I LOVE my Suave Lavender and Vanilla body wash.  I read somewhere Lavender is very soothing and I believe it.  When I've had a tough day, it's always nice to have a wonderful shower with my soothing body wash!
3.  When my mom was alive, I spoke with her every day.  I told her all my hopes and dreams and when I was upset or crying about something, she always knew how to make me feel better.  Oh, how I miss her so!  She died just a day past her 60th birthday and it's been hard to live without her and not talk to her anymore.  So all you out there that still have your mom, CHERISH HER!  You just don't know how long you will have her around.
4.  I used to be a big TV watcher, but over the past 2 years now I've been more into reading and using the computer.  When I did watch TV, I loved "Supernatural" (I have a gigantic high school girl crush on Jensen Ackles!), "King of Queens" and "Hell's Kitchen."  It always amazed me how the cooks could work under such pressure of Gordon Ramsey!
5.  No, I usually wait until the stores are TOTALLY packed on Christmas Eve.  Since my husband and I don't have a lot of money coming in, we all have decided to not get fancy, expensive gifts for each other.  My brother & sister-in-law didn't listen, though and got Frankie and I a brand new computer last year.  Not that I'm complaining.....heck no!  I LOVE our computer!!  :0)  I just felt bad that I couldn't get them something as nice in return.  They are always doing nice things for us.....I can't thank them enough!!  Frankie's folks are like that, too.  God bless them all!!


Alright, I answered the questions honestly and I will add my blog to the linky.  I do hope you all with blogs will participate.  It's fun!!!


I was tickled pink with all the sweet comments I received over my poem and picture yesterday.  So much, in fact, that I will do it again today as a special treat.  We all could use a relaxing picture and poem to unwind after a "manic Monday."  So kick off your shoes, sit back and relax with a nice drink and I hope you enjoy my selected picture and poem for today.

The picture I have selected for today is from our trip to Imperial Beach, CA.  This was right outside our motel room.  It was so nice to hear the lapping of waves while we relaxed in our room.  Too bad we couldn't have left it open overnight.  But with all the weirdos out, that wasn't an option.

The poem I have selected was written my senior year of high school.  I was going out with this guy, whom shall remain somewhat nameless, and I thought he liked me the same as I liked him.  But I knew better when he wanted me to "put out" more than I wanted to. The only thing he saw me as was a sex toy.  It still hurts to this day, and most of my poems written are regarding him and the pain he caused me.  He was my biggest love in school.

You Were Never There      

I never wanted to write this
Nor had I wanted our story to end.
I wanted, needed for it
To go on and on.
When we began
I saw no end.
But as time went on
As it always does,
The pages of our book
Thinned as they were turned.
Now the end has come
And it has gone.
It is time
You were never there.
Even when I could see you,
Touch you,
Your mind was off from me.
You were never there,
Even though you were right beside me.
You could not see me
Even when tears ran down my face.
You went on your way,
Leading me on a dead end road
Breaking my heart so much
Ripping it apart and throwing it away.
I found it without you,
You were never there.
It was lying far from where you are
And you didn't offer to mend it.
I can put the pieces back once again,                    
But it will take time.
I will never forget you
As you are unforgettable.
I may still want you back,
But I can never trust you
To have my heart.
I may wish, long for you
But you will never come to
Wipe the falling tears from my eyes.
I may wish for you near me
But it will never come to be.
You were never there before.
I may somewhere deep down
Still love you,
But I will not call you,
I will not see you,
I will not bother you.
Your love for me had died
As if it has ever lived.
I can call,
But you will never hear me.
You will never come.
I can look beside me
And see you there
But it was a trick my eyes played.
That place is empty-
You were never there
When I needed you most.

To Alex N., 1989

Thank you for reading my poems and liking them.  That means a lot to me.  Hope you are having a great Monday!!!

Until next post,
God bless you all!

San Francisco Or Bust!

Howdy, everyone!

I hope this post finds everyone happy and healthy!  I know a lot of my fibro friends have been having a rough time of it, what with the weather changes, so hopefully the flare-ups will end soon.  For me, I've got a double whammy.  Not only am I in flare-up from the fibromyalgia, but I'm decreasing the amount of prednisone I take each day.  When I went to my rheumatologist last week, he suggested going down 2.5mg a week until I reach only 5mg of prednisone daily.  Then the bariatric surgeon would accept that and I can have my surgery.  Man, can I feel the difference from 20mg that I was taking for about 2 years now to what I'm on today....12.5mg.  I am very stiff and am having even more problems with walking around.  I hadn't realized how much it was working for me until having to wean down on it.  But it'll be worth it (I hope!) so I can have my surgery.  The problem with prednisone is it lowers your immune system and you are more prone to infection.  It would be sooo nice if someone could invent a medication and have NO side-effects?  Ha!  I have a feeling that by the time I can have the surgery, I'll have to crawl in there on all fours or go in by stretcher!!

On to more pleasant things....I need to see the ocean again, so how about a trip down "memory lane" to when I went to San Francisco with my mom and Grandma.  It was a blast!  Like all of our trips were!  Anyway, Mom wanted to see Michael W. Smith in concert at a county fair in northern California.  I forget the name of the city-I hate that, as it's right on the tip of my tongue!!  We had never been past LA, so it sounded like we would be seeing many new sights.  We traveled most of the coast (I believe we were on I-5) and the ocean was just absolutely brilliant with the deep blues and cotton white waves that crashed against the shore.  But before I go on about that, let me show you some pics of LA from the freeway.  The traffic was just atrocious, so we had a lot of stop n' go moments.  I wasn't complaining....I could get better pictures that way than speeding down the freeway and getting a blurry picture.  The first few photos are the skyline of LA.

I noticed that in LA, they loved to graffiti the overpasses on the freeway.  Whomever did that did a fantastic job of it!!

Aren't those great?  We really enjoyed seeing those.  At a few points, it was down to more stop than go on the road, so we could really see the detail of the artwork.  Here in good ole' AZ, Phoenix does a really good job of landscaping our highways with desert plants and adobe art on the overpasses.   OK, we left LA behind and ventured on a whole new experience for us.  We were heading towards San Francisco and the fair that MWS would be at tomorrow.  On the way, I had Mom stop so many times she was practically riding the shoulder of the highway!  Sorry, but I had pics to get of the ocean.  And NEW ones at that!  We had never traveled this route before!!

I couldn't resist this photo.  It's Mom sitting in the "captain's seat" of her favorite red van.  She loved to drive, so I never objected since I don't really care to drive.  There's so many crazies out there and it makes me nervous.  It never bothered Mom, though!  She fit in right along with them!!

Here is my lovely grandma standing by the beautiful coast of the Pacific Ocean.  She gave in to me and my camera and let me take as many pictures of her as I wanted.  LOL!

OK, we reach the fairgrounds (after getting lost, of course!) and find absolutely NO parking spaces - handicapped or not.  The first parking space we saw was way over a mile away.  There were also people there wanted to wash the van's windshield for $1.00.  They were carrying pails of dirty water, so Mom said "no thanks" politely and we left.  There wasn't even a parking lot trolley available and I didn't see Michael W. Smith's name anywhere on the fair's attraction board.  Sadly, Mom pulled back onto the road.  She really wanted to see Michael again.  I did, too, but what can you do?  I didn't think she could make a mile walk into the fair grounds (neither could I!) and I didn't feel comfortable with leaving the van so far way, out of sight.  So we went to San Francisco instead!  We were so close to it, we might as well finish it off.  Mom and I had never been to SF, but Grandma had several planes stop in SF on the way to Washington.  Grandma has lots of friends scattered all over the place.

We get to San Francisco and were looking very intently for the exit for the Golden Gate Bridge.  The traffic was even worse here than in LA!  It was practically bumper to bumper cars and trucks.  Again, another photo opportunity!  So I got to snapping away.....

 Mother knew how much I loved bridges and wanted to see the Golden Gate Bridge.  She tried very hard to get over into the right lane, but traffic was bad and she didn't know exactly where we were going, so we got tangled in the mess of freeways and didn't see any sign for the Golden Gate Bridge.  Before we knew it, we were in the lane to the Bay Bridge.  So we zoomed up on that and figured we could catch the Golden Gate on the way back.  It sounded good in theory, but when we got to Oakland, we turned around and found NOTHING to advertise the Golden Gate Bridge.  How can this be?  It's only a huge tourist attraction!!  I couldn't find it on the map, either.  I must have been looking in all the wrong places.  The next few shots were taken from the Bay Bridge.

 Well, we spent a total of three hours in San Francisco, most of it looking at road signs, the map and screaming at each other to either "turn left" or "turn right" and Mom saying, "they give you ONE sign and you are supposed to plan a vacation around it!!."  We finally got out of the traffic jam in Oakland and coming back on the bridge, over to my right, in a shroud of clouds, was the elusive Golden Gate Bridge.  I was so shocked to be seeing it, I couldn't take a picture.  I regret that now!!  How beautiful it was!!

The following morning we left the motel and started back home.  When we got to Indio, CA we ran into a freak hail storm and had to pull over a couple of times.  It finally subsided and we were on our way.  We didn't know we were dragging a tree limb under our front tires, but we kept hearing a scratching noise.  When Mom stopped the van, I jumped out and saw the problem!  Once I had the branch gone, it was good as new.  When we got to El Centro, CA we ran into the SAME hail storm, but no branch this time!  That silly storm followed us all the back from Indio.  It even went into Yuma for a little bit.  

Whew!  We were exhausted by the time we got back into Yuma and dropped Grandma off at home.  Too tired to even eat, I think!!  We had the guys bring in our luggage and just sat there like couch potatoes.  What a trip!!!  Of course, with Grandma around, ya never know what will happen!!!  She has this practice of picking up pennies she sees on the ground.  Well, every time she does that, something weird happens!  I kid you not!  So whenever we had a weird occurrence, like a flat tire in a tire that was perfectly fine a day ago, we always say, "did you pick up a penny?"  And she will nod her head yes.  And give us the crap eating smile she has perfected.  But we wouldn't dream of going anywhere without her.  She is a special person and one whom I love spending time with.  I cherish ALL our trips together.....whether they work out or not.  :0)

OK, that about does it for this post.  I hope I haven't bored anyone.  I hope all the photos turn out.  I've been having a time with Google Blogger recently.  It won't save some of my photos.  Don't ask me why, I have no idea!

Oh, before I forget, a huge THANKS to all who leave me comments.  I am very appreciative and grateful.  If you left your URL to your blog, I will visit it.  And to those I've awarded the "Stylish" award to, just add it to your blog like you would a picture.  So go to "Add a Gadget" and "Picture" and then upload your photo and add your caption (optional) and link to my blog:  http://missyschranz.blogspot.com.  Select "save" and it will go to your blog where you can put it to your side bar by moving it over there.

 That's it!!  I've given instructions for those that use Blogger.  I don't know how the other blogging software works.

Have a great weekend, everyone!

God Bless,

Until next post,

"Stylish Blogger Award"

Howdy, fine friends!

I awoke to a very sweet treat in my blog comments from my last post, "Wordless Wednesday."  Actually, more than one treats - I had 5 comments, which I never get that many comments, so that means people are "opening" up more and sharing more, which is GREAT!  Most of the comments said that my picture was so cute with the two cats in the "kitty condo."  Thank you for complimenting my "boys."  Unfortunately, Tora, the kitty on the top of the condo is no longer with us.  He died last September when his heart threw a clot into his hind quarters and he was paralyzed.  The vet said his heart was very weak and he was going to die soon.  We chose to euthanize him, the more humane way to leave this Earth than to suffer any longer than he had to.  He will be forever missed!! He was a very sweet kitty.  We love you, Tora!

The other kitty, the one inside the condo is Jack.  He is still with us.  Oh, boy, is he!  He is very high maintenance.  He requires ALL of your attention.  But he, too, is very sweet and loving.  You can read more about Jack on my "Schranz Ranch" page.

I HAVE BEEN AWARDED THE "STYLISH BLOGGER AWARD!!!"  Thank you so much, Shawn Becker, for awarding this to me!  It's an honor to receive it.  I work so very hard on my blog that it is almost like a full-time job.  I love to blog and I hope it shows!!  Below is the precious award and I also will put it on my right side bar, too.  That way it will show always and not be buried by new posts.  Click on it and it will take you to Shawn Becker's AWESOME blog.  Be sure to visit her and see the Thanksgiving theme she has going on her blog.  It is terrific!! Here is my award:

Isn't it cool?  Here are the rules for accepting the award:

 1. Thank and link back to the blog of the author that gave you the award.

2. Share 7 things about yourself.

3. Pay it forward and give this award to 15 blogs that you have newly discovered.

4. Notify the blog owners that you have chosen and let them know about the award.

Okay, here we go.  I already did the first one. Now on to the second rule.....share 7 things about myself:

1. I LOVE stuffed animals of any shape, size or form.  I've got two gigantic teddy bears that I love to cuddle, especially if I feel down or depressed.  They help to cheer me up!  I call them my "cheerleaders."

2. This one I'm sure everyone already knows.  I absolutely LOVE cats.  Especially Jack.  He is so cuddly and knows just the right moment to come and "snuggle" with me.  He's nosey, curious and loves boxes and anything he can get into.  I wouldn't have him any other way!

3. My all time favorite food is lasagna.  Of course!  I can't have pasta anymore (or in very limited portions) because of my diet.  It turns into sugar and isn't good for my diabetes.  So I'll give my serving to Garfield!!  LOL........

4. I LOVE to read Janet Evanovich books.  I just finished "Wicked Appetite"  and that was sooo good I couldn't put the book down for very long!!  I read on her website that it will be a series.  I also love her "Stephanie Plum" novels, too.  

5. I absolutely ADORE blogging and making blog friends.  I can spend hours of reading other people's blogs and getting very involved in their lives.  It gets my mind off of what's to come with the bariatric surgery and how my doctor STILL hasn't done her part and given us the letters of medical clearance for surgery and monitoring of my weight and diet.  I also need referrals to the psychologist and pulmonologist. 

6.  I LOVE music of all kinds....but NOT rap or hard rock.  I love Christian music and singers like Michael W. Smith, Amy Grant, Mark Schultz, Mark Harris and many more.  I love the '80's genre, too.  That was when music was REALLY at its best.  With all this rap and crap, you just can't understand what they are talking about.  And all the little dance moves they do - looks ridiculous in my humble opinion.  If you are a rapper, sorry.  That's how I feel.  You can always go and make your own blog and sing its praises! (no pun intended!)  :0)

7.  I LOVE spending quality time with my family.  Life is so very short that you never know how long you will have someone around.  Sounds morbid, I know.  But what this means is to love what you've got and cherish those around you.  I do this as much as possible.  When my mom died, that taught me BIG time to support my friends and family whenever I can.  They all deserve it!!

I will be doing rule numbers 3 & 4 a little each day or so.  I will post who I've chosen in a future post.  I hope that is OK, but I don't want to feel rushed or anything about this.  This is an honorable award and I want to give it to the BEST blogs. 

Ok, that will be it for today!  My poor feet are swelling up and my hubby and I need to do some grocery shopping.  Oh, sounds like a blast, doesn't it?  We will go to Walmart and I will ride the motorized scooter they have out for those who need it.  I have my walker, but I can no longer walk very far because the pinching pain is so severe in my legs and rear end that it takes my breath away.  I hope that in a year or two I can look back at these posts and see how far I've come.  That will be so much fun!!

God bless you all!!

Until next post,

HAPPY VETERAN'S DAY!!  Thank you so much to those of you in uniform (and to the retired veterans that WERE in uniform) that fight for us to remain free.  Pictured here from top to bottom are: my grandpa, Victor P. Churchill, who served in the U.S. Army in WWII.  My father, Robert A. Karchunas, who served in the U.S. Army in the 1960's, stateside.  And my father-in-law, Frank J. Schranz, SR. who served in the U.S. Army, Korean War, stateside.