Dear Mom

Dear Mom,

I cannot believe it's been over three years since you have left us.  It seems like just yesterday.  I've got so much to tell you, I just don't know where to begin.  I remember this picture fondly, of you in your wedding gown just before marrying Dad in March of 1969.  I wasn't even born yet, but one doesn't have to be to look into your wonderous eyes and not feel the elation you were going through.  You and dad sure didn't have it easy, but you never gave up.  For that, you will always be my hero.  Below is a pic of you and dad at the alter.  If you look close, you can see the red splotches on my dad's face from nerves.  He was sooo cute!!

Too bad the pic was in black in white and you can't really see the splotches.  You would be happy for him, I think, Mom.  He now has a new woman in his life, named Gina.  I think you would approve.  She has all the nice qualities that you possessed...kindness, tenderness & generosity.  She treats Dad well and he treats her well.  We will never forget you, Mom, but at least Dad isn't so lonely anymore.

Grandma is doing well, but we both miss dreadfully our California beach trips.  We must have went a million times, but each time it was different.  Between feeding the hungry birds their stale bread we collected for weeks before, to falling all over the whale boat....it just can't be beat.  A fond memory for me was Grandma slipping on the escalator at Ralphs in San Diego.  She for the life of her could not get up, so Mom bowed her head and said, "Let us pray, God."  We got to laughing so hard what when the escalator had hit the top, we could barely get through the store.  I'll cherish forever all the stories of a time well before MY time.  I love hearing about our family and will carry those stores wherever I go.

Frankie is doing well, had another operation since you've been gone.  It was a big one, and he took a long time to recover afterward, but he is on his road to recovery.  I just worry about him so, picking his skin to oblivion.  It's a nervous tick we are trying to get to the bottom of, so if anyone knows how to stop it, please contact me ASAP!!

Frankie's family is doing well.  I can never pay them back (or Grandma, either!) for all they've done for us since your death, Mom.  I can seriously say that if it weren't for them, we'd probably be gone, too.  So thank you, Schranz's from the bottom of my heart for taking me in like one of their own.

Mom, I've had a hard time since you've been gone.  For a long time, I was mad at God for not helping you.  It's taken me months to figure out that He HAS helped you - by taking you out of your misery.  That still doesn't stop my heart from going over the last week of your life.  I will never get over thinking I missed something I shouldn't have.  Or did I work you too hard with the travel nursing? It was hard work packing and unpacking for three months at a time and then moving on.  Maybe I wore you out.  I hope not.  I no longer am mad at God or think I made your death happen....but I still carry around hurt and missing you in my heart.  I think I always will.

Mom, you would be so proud of me, losing 100 lbs since my bariatric surgery in April, 2011.  I still have a ways to go and it was a long, hard road what with complications of diverticulitis and nausea and vomiting at every turn, but I think this six month mark is doing me good.  My stomach is getting stronger with spices.  I just have to be really careful.  And I think about you, how you took life's challenges head on and didn't stop until you completed the task.  If I could be HALF the woman you are, I will be happy.

I see in the picture of my mind, you at work at Medic One Ambulance as a 911 dispatcher.  You didn't let anything get in your way.  You went to work NOT on your two feet, but being pushed in on an office chair when the arthritis was so bad you couldn't walk.  That takes dedication!!
I am in the process of hunting for work soon, Mom.  I think I'm ready to go back to nursing, which is what you always wanted me to do.  You never let me give up in myself, even after I long gave up myself.  You were an amazing mom, one that will be in my heart forever.

I love you, Mom and I always well, no matter how much time I have left on this Earth.  I want to spend each day on the Lord's path and let Him guide me to the future he has laid out for me.  I promise to do my best and follow in your footsteps.  They didn't lead down an easy road, but whoever said life was easy?

May your star shine bright forever, Mom and may you fly on wings of Angels.  You sure worked for it and you deserve it.

Jack is doing well, too.  He misses you, though, I can just tell.  I'm now his "surrogate" mommy.  I feed him, give him water and play with him.  I remember you trying to teach him "no biting" when was a year old.  And you would sing to him the "Daisy Song" that he just loves.  He perches his ears when I sing and NOT in a good way.  How rude!!  Silly kitty!!!  But he gets in lots of purr time.  :0)

We are now heading for the third Christmas without you, Mom.  Or maybe not.  I'll set a place for you in my heart on your favorite holiday, Christmas.  I never thought I'd get this far without you around, but now I know that you are forever inside my heart.  And death doesn't reach there.

Forever love and I miss you terribly,
Your one and only daughter,

Happy Birthday To Me!

Well, today is the day.  I'm officially 41 years old.  Oh, how the years have passed and what joy most of those years have been!!  And this will be my third birthday without my mom and my second without my dad, as he lives in Michigan and I haven't seen him in 2 years now. :(  I miss him!  Anyway, you take this only child who always had all the attention in the world on her birthday by her doting parents (and all the other days of the year!) and have your life up and change so drastically over the past three years since my mom died, well, let's say I'm still not used to my new life.   I get sooooo emotional over the summers since Mom died.  I guess because it was so sudden and I didn't get to say goodbye.  And she always made me special treats for my birthday.  Just being there made it special.  Oh, how I miss her!!!  I write this with a fine mist of tears in my eyes.....

And then, I go and make life even more drastic.  I have bariatric surgery!  Don't get me wrong, I'm glad I had it, even if I did have a few "coincidental" things happen, like the bout of diverticulitis.  I'm glad I'm over that!!!!  Thank you so much for all the well wishes and support.  I've gotten so much, there is NO way I can answer each one of you personally, so please accept my group "hug" and THANKS A MILLION FOR BEING THERE FOR ME!!!  :0)

Life is so different after the surgery.  Meals take on a whole new meaning.  It takes me about 40 minutes to get through a meal and most of the time, it feels like food is getting caught in my throat.  So I've got to make sure all my meat is sloppy moist (to get 'er down the ole' pipes!) and I still can't have bread.  I've got such cravings for stuff I can't have....like a sandwich.  Or a soda. Or my ever famous taco.  I can have starches in six months, not before.  I guess they want me to lose half of my weight before starting starches back into the mix.  So I survive on sugar free pudding, popcicles, chicken breast, scrambled eggs, Carnation Instant Breakfast and the ever popular protein shakes (I still have to have three a day because I'm not eating enough food during the day to get enough protein.)  This has been the most radical "diet" I've ever been on and to think it is permanent.  Which is good, because once this weight is gone, it's STAYING gone!!!!  I just can't wait for another year when I can have bread and eat in a restaurant!  Ah, the simple things!!!

And taking my pills.  Geez, I take so many, that by the time I'm done, I'm full on applesauce or yogurt that I have to take with to get them down.  I've crushed so many, I've got cracks in my fingers from constantly breaking in half big pills.  But all in the name of losing weight.  I'll do it!

My hubby and I are really enjoying the gym and we ride the stationary bike and I've tried the treadmill a few times.  We take it slow and easy and it's helping my fibro and my joints.  So hopefully I can start weaning off some of my meds soon.  Won't that be nice?

Well, gotta get ready to go to the state DES office to renew my health insurance.  Wish me luck.  That place is a zoo and AZ is going broke, so they are changing some rules.  Please pray I keep my insurance!!!   I'll take the Kindle with and my hubby and I will play Monopoly while we wait with half of Phoenix in line!

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE BIRTHDAY WISHES ON MY BLOG AND FACEBOOK.  I've got so many friends of FB, I can't answer personally, so THANK YOU AND GOD BLESS YOU ALL!!!

Have a great day!!!
My next post I'll post some pics of new outfits I can fit into now.  :0)
Hugs,

Regrets? Maybe a few....

Howdy, fine friends & family!

Well, I'm still trying to survive the heat (it's triple digits again!) AND to keep "regular" food down in my stomach.  It is the strangest thing.  I can eat yogurt, sherbert, popcicles, and fruit but when it comes to veggies and meat, my stomach puts up an instant rebellion and up it comes again.  Before my surgery, I never had problems with veggies or meat!!  What's the deal?  And I am so depressed as my monthly measurements did NOT go well.  I actually INCREASED on my waist and bust.  And I swear, NO cheating!  I gained a pound on the scale at home.  I turned into such a scale maniac that my dear mother-in-law hid the scale from me.  Thank God!!!

I know, I know....Rome wasn't built in a day and losing weight doesn't magically disappear over night...although I wish it did!!  I guess I've hit a little plateau, so I am doing more work on the bike at the gym and I started walking the treadmill.  It's going VERY slowly.  Trying to get my stiff & cranky arthritic joints going is no easy task.  I had to go to the rheumatologist this past week for a shot of cortisone to keep my joints going!  My sister-in-law has a beautiful pool that she and her hubby are going to let me use so I can swim laps and get the pressure off my knee joints.  Those are what are hurting me so badly.  And swimming is PERFECT for arthritis and fibromyalgia.  So we'll see what all the new exercise does.  I have NO idea why I can't eat meat....maybe it's too soon for my stomach.  Too bad, as that has so much protein, which I need desperately!   So I've had to supplement with those yummy protein shakes.  And whenever I eat, I can actually feel the food go down the esophagus and into my stomach.  If my stomach is too full, the food "piles" up in my esophagus waiting for my stomach to empty enough to pull it down in.  Very weird feeling!!!!   My tastes have changed, too.  My poor mother-in-law has gotten me everything on a whim, hoping that will satisfy my system.  But foods I used to love now taste funny.  That, too, is VERY weird.

And I soooooooo miss taking a pill with water!!!!  I think that is my BIGGEST regret about the surgery is that I have to crush my pills and put it in applesauce, pudding or yogurt.  This is so it doesn't get stuck on the way to my stomach.  And a lot of my pills when crushed do NOT have a very good taste!!   Since I have to take them with food, it's not like I can carry about a thing of yogurt and an aspirin if I get a headache when I'm away from home.  I have to wait until I get home to take my pills.  So I plan very carefully ahead before we leave.....like how long we'll be gone, am I due for anything, ect.  It gets tiring.

I don't mean to complain or anything.  I'm just feeling a little down today and am using my blog to "vent."  Given the same choice, I'd still have the surgery because I am losing weight, just not too quickly in the places where I want it to.....like my tummy and thighs!  And with how I was going with food, I would have died young like my mom from being morbidly obese.  My mom had other problems as well, but her weight didn't help, either.  I guess there's pro's and cons to everything, huh?

So I've been on the computer looking at blogs and playing with my Kindle.  That Kindle is my pride and joy.  My hubby got me a beautiful burgandy case with a pull out light.  And I've got over 50 books on my wish list at the Kindle Store.   Oh, how I wish I had a money tree in the back yard.  A lot of the books are under $7, so that's not too bad.  But maybe the "Birthday Fairy" will leave me a gift card for the Kindle Store for my birthday!!!  Ha!  Wouldn't that be cool?  :0)  Ha!

That pretty much wraps it up.  I have two pics to post, the first being me in my new bathing suit that my friend Sheila got me (Thank you sooooo much, Sheila!) and the second in a 2x/3x night shirt I couldn't wear before.  So I am making strides....I'm just being hormonal!  Weight fluctuates all the time and scales differ.   So I'm just going to keep on doing what I'm doing and hope for the best.

My sexy new suit!!  :0)

My new night shirt

Hope you all have a great rest of the week.  Take it easy and keep cool!!
Big hugs,

PS....Much thanks to everyone who has left and will leave (how's THAT for positive thinking? Ha!) me very kind and encouraging messages.  I can't tell you how much they brighten my day.  Thank you all for being my friends!

Bummer Day

This is another picture of my mom that captures EXACTLY how I feel today.  Just bummed out.  For one thing, I miss my mom more than words could ever begin to say.  I was thinking today that I haven't spoken to my mom in almost three years this coming July.  Three years I haven't heard her laugh, or sing or talk.  I can't tell her all that has happened since she died.  I just am missing her very hard this week for some reason.  It's like a tidal wave of grief that you must ride and once it passes, that grief just goes away until the next wave.  I hate this! 

Another thing that has me bummed is I still haven't heard from the bariatric clinic about my surgery and the insurance.  I'm afraid to call them, as I don't think I would survive the answer at this point.  I just KNOW they are going to turn me down.  Earlier this week on the news they had a report that the state is refusing to authorize ORGAN TRANSPLANTS.  One guy already died and many others are about to because of this.  If they are doing that, what chance does my surgery have of being authorized?  It's not near the magnitude of an organ transplant!!  I hear that people are going south of the border for surgery.  I may be in that line-up!  Who knows?  Our brilliant governor thinks the answer to our budget problem is to take childless couples OFF state insurance.  Oh, great!  Now I'm being discriminated against, too, because I don't have children!!  Thank God it has to go through the federal avenues to be approved and I CANNOT believe that this country would go that low and approve that.  If it does, Canada, here I come!!!!  Why can't they take money from the over blown salaries these people get?  Why is the fix for state AND federal budgets always to take away from the poor and elderly?  It just drives me bananas!!

I just wish I could turn the clock back to nursing school when I was thin, had a good credit score, could take a shower unaided and ready to tackle the world.  No fibro. No arthritis. I could move around with ease.  And I took it all for granted!  Now I've got myself into a big pickle that might lose medical insurance in October.  If I don't get that surgery, I'll see if my doctor will prescribe that diet pill for me, Phentermine.  I took it for a short time when I was living in Yuma and needed to lose weight.  I lost about 90 pounds on it.  Problem was, when I stopped it, I started over eating again.  I'll worry about that later.  I just need to drop pounds NOW and get back to work and get us out of this poverty situation.

OK, enough.  I'm sorry to drone on and on.  But it felt good to get that all out.  Blogging is very therapeutic.  I don't know what I'd do without it.  I've "met" so many neat people in various stages of life.  I'm so grateful for my blog and reading blogs of others.

I hope you all are having a better day.  Thanks for listening to me.  :0)

God bless,

Stay warm, my dear friends!

Oh, Better Day!

Good day, my friends!

I can happily report that we are having a better day today.  No vomiting for Frankie in two days (of course, I probably just jinxed him really badly now!), but he does complain of an occasional pain in his stomach.  I think he just is constipated!!  Luckily, I KNOW the cure for THAT!  LOL.....

As for myself, physically for me I'm a nightmare.  I think it's easier to list what I DON'T have than what I do.  But I learned well from my dear mom in Heaven about living in pain and still surviving. (My mother-in-law, too, is a phenomenal lady with living with Juvenile Arthritis for over 6o years.) And she would do it with such grace and always a smile, no matter what bad news was coming up.  And it always did....I'm so glad she's in a comfortable place, but God, do I miss her badly!  I think of a million things I want to say to her but I can't.  It's just not fair!!!  OK, better get off this subject or I'll be needing my Kleenex again.  I've been nostalgic like this all weekend.  When Grandma was here and got me the camera for Christmas, it came with a coupon for a free 8X8 photo book from Shutterfly.  I compiled up my favorite photos with mom, dad & Frankie.  It came to me in a beautiful 20 page hard cover book in which I named "Down Memory Lane."  I am a new believer in Shutterfly!  So if you are looking into a special gift for someone, photo books are always GREAT!

It's been two full years without my mom and I can't begin to tell you the ways my life (and my husband, father, Grandma and in-laws) has changed.  It's just amazing how the absence of ONE person just completely threw us all off track.  For my whole life she has been there, protecting me, shielding me from trouble (as much as what a mom can do, anyway!) She took complete care of my dad and made sure that all our needs were met before her own.  I could never lie to her and tell her I was OK when she knew I wasn't.  Boy, she REALLY should have consulted with us before just taking off into the while blue yonder!! I will be talking to Mom about that when I see her in Heaven!!!  Anyway, I was looking through some photos and found a little video of Mom playing with Jack in her favorite recliner chair.  It has no sound, as I didn't have a fancy camera back in 2003, when we very first got Jack.  My mom so loved Jack, and he loved her (and all the attention.)  I've never seen such a sociable cat!  He could be the greeter at WalMart....nah.  Make that Petco..."where the pets GO..."  OK, I'm being weird now so I'll see if I can upload that video clip into my blog.  Sometimes the 'net is my friend and others it is my worse enemy.  So here goes:

I titled this clip "No Biting" because here she was trying in vain to stop Jack from biting her hands.  He has good teeth and he knows how to use them!!  Below is a precious picture of my mom and Jack.  Gee, I'm so glad I decided to change the subject!!  Hehehehe.....

Jackie came to live with us after our beloved Toby died at the age of 12 due to kidney failure.  He was a BIG cat and the vet told us they tend to have more kidney problems.  But they can't lose weight too fast, or it will hurt their liver!  What can ya do????  Anyway, the day Toby died we were bawling like babies over the phone when I called the vet to see how he was doing.  They gave him IV's overnight, but when they came in the next morning, he had died.  My dad said, "well, if we are gonna get another cat, let's get one now."  I was determined to name whatever cat we got "Jack."  I just liked it.  A nice strong, boy's name.   We trooped down to the Humane Society and they have only five cats, and Jack was up on his first day of adoption on the day we came to get a cat!  Because he was found on the streets, they always hold them for 30 days to make sure he isn't previously owned and just lost.  But nobody came in, so he was ours!!  The vet attendant picked him up out of his cage and said, "You will LOVE Jack.  He is AWESOME!"  We just could NOT believe it!!  The odds of a stray having the same name that I was going to name him are probably a million to one!!  Since my husband and I cannot have children, we adopt our "furry" kitty sons...we always got male cats for some reason.  I'd love a female kitty one of these years....

Well, gotta close and get ready for a busy afternoon.  Hubby has a psychiatrist appoint he has to go to and then we are going to return the webcam.  I was using it the other night and the damn base broke off of the camera.  So now it's just sitting on top of the monitor.  One little movement and its off the monitor!!!  It has a receipt. so we'll just exchange it.  Should be no problem.  I LOVED talking with my dad and Gina over the webcam the other nice.  It was like they were right in the room with me.  To bad I couldn't reach over the web lines and give my dad a big hug!!  I haven't seen him in almost two years now.
Gee, does that make me an orphan?  :0)

Hope you all are well and happy.
God bless ya!
Until next post,

Thanks, Gina, for my new siggy logo!

The Body Box

Good day, everyone!!

Whew, has it ever been busy these past few days.  What with seeing the pulmonologist for the bariatric surgery clearance and re-applying for my state funded health insurance, it was enough to keep my eyes crossed for a year!

I'll start with the pulmonologist first.  We get there, I fill out the paperwork and then the receptionist gives me three of the forms back to me and tells me to give them to the doctor.  OK, I can do that.  He then sends me upstairs on an elevator (thank goodness or I don't know how I would have managed to get my walker up there!!) and while it's moving, I see a sign that this floor does the pulmonary function tests (PFT) and "Body Box."  Well, I wasn't too much liking this "body box" thing.  I"ll do the PFT, but forget anything else!!!

We trudged off the elevator (my right leg has just been absolutely KILLING me!) and went down a narrow hall.  I passed an open doorway and there was a lady that called out if I was there for the PFT's.  I said yes and she led me into another room after telling my hubby that he could wait in the waiting room with my walker and purse.  We get into the other room and in the corner was this box like contraption.  It had windows on each side and had all kinds of valves attached to it.  I asked the lady (who wasn't very friendly!) if I was going into that box.  She said yes, "I would have to complete the test.  But not to worry, we'll go nice and easy and you will do fine." Ha!  I didn't share her enthusiasm.  My husband has very bad seasonal allergies and is on all kinds of inhalers and he has done the PFT's, too, but NEVER this "body box" thing.  It looked like it wouldn't even FIT me enough to close the door, let alone being easy to breathe in!!  Yikes!  What have I gotten myself into?

She started me through a series of little tests with some kind of nozzle contraption and a nose clip to keep air from escaping during the test.  I did that test about 49 times!!  Then she got out a medication called "albuterol" and I took it by inhaler.  I had no clue if this was a normal part of the test, or was I really having lung problems?  I didn't have a lot of time to stew about it, though, because then it was time for the BOX.  I sit down on the seat in there and I kid you not, it was wall-to-wall Missy in there!!!  I had no clue how they would close the door!!  But believe it or not, it did close.  When it closed, all noise was gone and she spoke with me via intercom.  I felt like I was in a space shuttle or something.  You know those stories about martians zapping down to earth and choosing their "subject" to do tests on?  I felt like that subject!!  Luckily, there wasn't too many tests in the box and she let me out.  Thank God!!  One more second in there and I would have gone ballistic!
I couldn't get her to tell me what the results were to the tests.  She was very tight-lipped.  She said I'd need to speak with the doctor first.  I know that, of course, being a nurse myself, but it never hurts to see if someone has "loose lips", so to speak!

She prints out the report in some jargon I didn't understand and told me to put it in the little bin by the nurse's station down stairs.  No problem.  We trudged back down via the elevator and put the letter in the bin.  It didn't take long for me to be called back into an exam room.  I think there were only two other people in the waiting room!  I followed another guy who wasn't too cheerful, either, into an x-ray room for a chest x-ray.   Good....another thing I can cross off my checklist for surgery!!  I had the x-rays then went to an exam room where I'd see the doctor.  He wasn't too long in coming and he said everything looked GREAT.  No cardiac or lung issues.  What a relief!!

I fired that disability lawyer yesterday.  We were getting nowhere and our personalities clashed!!  I felt instant gratification to have that done.  If and when I need to have a lawyer again, I will turn to someone else after thorough investigation!!

And then, yesterday, we got a letter from my state funded insurance that they would be canceling me on the 31st of this month!  They stated I failed to report to an interview.  But they never mailed me anything like an interview date!! So my hubby and I again are out and about in 45 degree weather to  stand in line with all the other down on their luck people.  The office was so small and not enough room, especially for the 30 bald babies making their voices heard by shrieking at the top of their lungs.  We waited for about three hours, was called up for a short interview and dismissed.  But my (and my husband's!) insurance and food stamps will continue!!!  I told the guy nothing had changed: I still can't work because of my back and I haven't won the lottery yet.  He smiled at that!  Ha!

I have saved the most serious part of my news for last.  Actually, it's a prayer request.  Frankie is not doing to well at the moment.  He has shaking chills, fever, upset stomach and vomiting.  The later two he has had since his surgery in June of 2010.  The doctors/surgeon don't seem too concerned about it.  But it is NOT normal to be "tossing your cookies" everyday!  And he is pale as a ghost. All his labs come back as "mild anemia."  I am just so very worried about him.  I lost my mom to a serious infection that shut her kidneys down within a 24 hour period and now I sometimes fear that will happen to Frankie.  He has a doctor's appointment on the 26th of this month (soonest he could get in) and I'm going to try and get to the bottom of this.  So could everyone please pray for my husband to be well again?  I'd really appreciate it.

I'll close this long post with a few pictures.  The first two are the Phoenix skyline that I shot going to the pulmonologist.

 

The air quality wasn't too bad downtown when these where taken yesterday.

Jack is "guarding" my brand-new purse I got as Christmas gift from my sister-in-law.

Choices, choices!!! Jake can't decide whether he should have some yummy salmon treats (just don't smell them!) or his seafood cat food.  Pampered kitty indeed!!

Hope you all are having a good week.  Oh, I don't know if I mentioned this before, but I got a Sharper Image Literati e-reader.  I love it!!  I've wanted one for a very long time and Santa was very kind with me.  And my family, of course!!!

Have a great one!
God bless,

Signature bar by Helena.

My Dad's Family

Howdy, fine friends!

I hope all is going well for you.  Hard to believe it's almost Thanksgiving!!!   These years are going by so fast it's so hard to keep track of them anymore.  I was just looking at pictures of my family and especially the children, have grown so fast into young adults.  Where does the time go?  


Speaking of families, I've done so much talking about my mother's side of the family, it's time I be fair and tell you a little about my dad's side of the family.  After all, I wouldn't be ME if it weren't for my dads influence, now would it?  LOL!!

This is my dad's childhood home that he lived in until he joined the Army.  And then when he came home from the Army.  He and my mom lived here for short stint after they were married.  My mom said it was horrible, Dad had to hide his pay check in a tire in the trunk or his mom would take it.  They where saving it to move out on their own.  Can you blame them??

My dad was born in 1947, number 2 of 5 children that my grandmother Krauchunas (pictured above) had.  I wish I had a baby picture of him to show here, but I have so few (as in NONE) from his baby/youth period.  He joined the Army for awhile to get away from home (there are so many stories I could tell you that he told me, but there isn't enough time in the day to go into it).  One of the stories was he never had his own room and he had to  wash his own clothes.  When he got out of the service, he met my mom in 1968.  They married March 1st, 1969.  My grandfather Krauchunas died in July of 1968 of a pulmonary embolis -( blood clot to the lungs) and was only 47 years old.  My aunt Shelly was born into the family May 13, 1968.  She never really knew her father.













The photo to the left is my dad's dad,  Joseph..  The picture on the right is from my parent's wedding.  Doesn't my father look uncannily like his father?  I thought so, to!!!

We moved from Michigan (I came down in 1993 and my parents came April of 1994).  We thought it best to separate from the family for while as they kept coming to us to solve their problems.  Shelly was in trouble a lot and needed bailing out.  My Uncle John was also in trouble and needed help too.   There's only so much you can do for someone and then it starts to wear you down.  I think that is what has happened to my dad.  Grandma K and Shelly came to visit for two weeks in 1995 and we were so glad to have them leave.  Here's some pics of their visit:

 

My dad and Grandma K

My dad and his sister, Shelly.

My dad, Shelley and Mom taking a road-side smoke break.

Shelly, Grandma K & Me

My Aunt Shelly in the tree at the dunes outside of Yuma.

Now I'll show the pictures I received from my Uncle Joe at Thanksgiving 2004.  I hadn't seen these people since 1993, so believe me, I was in for quite a shock!!

From L to R: Shelly's boyfriend, Dave; Shelly: Grandma K's husband Guy; Katie (Shelly's daughter) and Grandma K.

Guy, my late Uncle John, Katie & Grandma K.

Shelly, Uncle Joey, Katie & Grandma K.

 

Troy (Shelly's son), Grandma K, and Katie

I've learned since my mom's death in July 2008 due to acute kidney failure and now my Uncle John's death in July 2009 due to metastatic lung cancer, you only have your family around ONCE, through the good times and through the bad times.  So what may have happened in the past, keep it in the past.  If the person has apologized for it, accept the apology and move on.  Life is just too short to hold grudges.

ALL the Karchunas's have been exceptionally nice since my mom died.  They have helped out my dad and gave him shelter and food when he needed it.  With that alone, I thank Shelly for opening her home not just once, but TWICE.  Thank you.  You are a great sister!

That is my Thanksgiving message for this year.  I hope you each have a great holiday and appreciate being with your family.  They may irritate you at times, but they are your ONLY family.  And as the old saying goes......

BLOOD IS THICKER THAN WATER!!

God bless you all!

Until next post,

A Life So Changed

Howdy, folks!

Yesterday I ended my post by saying I was going on a "light" shopping trip with my hubby, and that with my walker, I can go anywhere.  Well.....not quite.  I did go on the shopping trip, but I did something I thought I would never do.  When my mom was alive, I would never let her take the motorized cart around in stores except one time, right after she had her knee replacement and we went to Walmart. I remember she was going too fast and knocked over a display of L'eggs nylons!  But yesterday, my legs were so bad, I couldn't even use my walker, so I had my hubby go and get the cart for me to zip around Walmart in.  I'm very disappointed in myself because I had to use that and not the walker. I need to walk, but I just couldn't yesterday.  I guess I'll use my relaxation method to calm myself down!!  We DID go do a lot of stores, though, that by the time we hit Walmart, I was just exhausted and it was 102 degrees out.  Yikes!!

OK....another relaxation method I use with thinking about previous happy memories is deep breathing.  You've probably already heard or done this, but it really does work.  I use it when I am working through a very difficult time.  I take a nice big breath in through my mouth slowly, then exhale through my nose slowly.  Do this as often as you need to. It really does help calm you down and your pain may even seem less.  It does for me.  I just did it a few minutes ago and the sharp pain in my left thigh is dulled.  I kid you not!!!

My life has changed so much in the last two years and I've learned so much in such a little amount of time.  My in-laws have been very patient and helpful to both hubby and me and have been excellent teachers.  See, when my mother was alive, she was "queen" of the castle, so to speak and she ruled the show.  My dad would rebel a lot and they would fight a lot.  Frankie would have no say at all, because he was the "outsider" that came into our tight threesome family.  I think my mom and dad resented that and were afraid that Frankie would "take me" away from them. I kept reassuring them that wouldn't happen, but they never quite believed me.

I'll be honest-it was incredibly hard those ten years that Frankie and I lived with them to help them out.  It was easier to pool our money together than to have to pay for two apartments, electricity, water, ect.  We did have some fun times, too.  I have lots of happy memories of that time, like when the four of us when to the Wild Animal Park in Escondido, CA.  I'll show you some of the photos my dad and I took.  They are amazing!

 My hubby, Mom & Dad sitting on the park bench. I'm not quite sure what my dad is looking at, but it sure has his attention, doesn't it?  LOL...

Me and my mom petting a deer.  Such a sweetie he was and he sure loved the attention!!  :0)  It's so weird, I ALWAYS wear shorts, but here I am in jeans and my mom is in shorts...she always wears shorts, too.  Just one of life's stupid mysteries!!  LOL....

 This is the entrance to "Nairobi Village."  The weather sure was beautiful that day.  Nice sun, mild breeze and only while we were on the trolley ride around the park did it look like rain coming in.

 I get a chuckle every time I see this picture.  My dad is absolutely a nut...a FEARLESS nut!  He got so close to this rhino, we thought he was going to jump into the fenced area with it!  He said he just wanted "a close-up of the rhino" and that he looked real friendly.  Yeah, ummmmmm, OK, Dad!!!  Mom didn't go for the story, either.

 I've titled this picture of my husband "shop until you drop."  I couldn't help it that I saw so many cute things in all the gift shops!  And they did have sales, too....or at least that is what I told my husband!  :0)  Shhhhh....don't tell him, that, though!  Although to my defense, I did get ONE sale item.  :0)

 We took the trolley ride all along the perimeter of the park and it was so much fun and worth the money.  There was NO way Mom or I could walk all the distance of the park and live to tell about it!!  Anyway, you can see the black clouds coming in and the breeze was getting a little cooler.  But, oh, how beautiful it all was!!

 Here's another view of the park and the animals in their natural habitat. One thing I really love about this park is they don't cage their animals. They try to make it as homey as possible for them.

 Aren't these colored trees beautiful?  That is the one thing I miss living in Arizona..the three seasons!!  I say three because we have summer all year around!!

 Here is a man-made lake for the animals.  Isn't it something else?  The camera was clicking non stop and even then I couldn't get enough. What can I say? I LOVE pictures!!

The trolley car pulled up pretty close to the elephant exhibit, allowing me to get this great shot of some of the elephants.  Thank goodness we were in the trolley or my dad might have tried to get THEIR picture close up, too!! I don't know too many "friendly" elephants, either!!  :0)

We went to the Wild Animal Park in December, so they had their "Festival of Lights" going on.  Since we spent all day at the park, we were just exhausted and went back to our motel and crashed!!

 I hope you enjoyed my lil' photo show.  I love pictures and I have so many I want to share, but I don't want to bore you, either. So I think this strikes a happy medium!!

My life has changed in so many ways, I would never have believed it if someone had told me three years ago of what is to come.  My mom dying was the absolute WORST thing to happen to me to date.  And now my dad is living in Michigan and I haven't seen him in over a year now. My grandma, whom mom and I saw almost everyday, lives in Texas with her son and daughter-in-law and I haven't seen her in two years.  But she will be coming to Phoenix for three weeks in December!!!  I'm so excited, I put a little ticker widget on the blog that counts down when she comes!! I can't wait!!

I also got a letter from Amazon telling me I have been an "associate" for a few months now and have not sold anything yet.  Some associate!!  So, PLEASE, if you buy anything from Amazon, I have a recommendation by me widget on the blog of some products I personally use and they really do wonders. So check it out!  I'd greatly appreciate it!!

Alrighty, that will do for this post.  I hope you all are happy and well. Enjoy your Sunday!!

God bless,
Until tomorrow,
Missy