Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Around And Around We Go....

Goodbye My Friend 
I watched you come with the beauty & grace,
As a young lion on new territory.
I knew you those early days when you knew not a soul.
I came into your life as you came into mine,
Adding something we both never felt before,
Adding new dimensions, new horizons, new love.
I felt your kiss in those early days
As you felt my embrace those last final hours
   we had together.
I don't know what you think now,
But I hope it is good--I hope you really loved me.
I hope you don't think I'm a thing of the past or
   that I will forget you.
Oh, in time, maybe the pain of losing you will fade,
But I'll never forget you.
When I look back now,
I realize I didn't say all I wanted to.
Maybe it's not really goodbye and maybe you'll be back.
But there's just one thing I must say just in
   case I never see you again.
"Adios, Amigos."  "Te diso, te amo." 

Howdy, friends!
As promised, I've included one of my poems from my collection of all original poems written by yours truly.  The poem above was about one of my very first loves in high school, a Mexican guy that my best friend and I met outside a grocery store in Michigan in August of 1988.  I really struck it off with this guy, which now is HYSTERICAL as I didn't know Spanish and his English wasn't too spiffy.  Makes me wonder what we ever talked about. We did a lot of hand gesturing, almost like he was deaf instead of Spanish speaking. I vowed then and there to learn Spanish, but for one reason or another, I never did. Not even when I was working in Yuma as a nurse did I learn it. And I could have definitely used it then!!!  Anyway, Alejandro was a thing of the past as when my senior year started that year, he and his buddies moved on and left me in the dust without even saying goodbye. I just went to this rented house one day and was greeted by one of his friends saying he went to Texas.  My first official heart break!  I wrote a lot of poems about Alejandro, as he WAS my first love.  I hope you enjoy the little poems I tack on my posts.

Okay, now present life awaits. Frankie is no better, I'm afraid to report.  He still is retaining A LOT of stomach contents, it just isn't going down into his small intestine the way it should. Yesterday he had a whole bunch of x-rays as part of a series called a "small bowel follow-through." They are looking for any kind of blockages by having him drink more yummy contrast and seeing how far it goes down into the small intestine.  We don't know the results of the test yet, but as soon as I do, I'll let everyone know.  His NG tube accidently came out in radiology and he had to have it replaced due to the high amount of stomach contents coming out of it yesterday. I don't know if you ever have had a NG tube inserted, but let me tell you, it is NOT fun. They gave him some Ativan first to help keep him calm during the insertion.  I just feel so badly for him!!!  If I could take any of this on myself for him, I would in a heartbeat.  After all, what's ONE more problem for me?  I just hate seeing him suffer so. There just has to be an end to this!  What turned into a simple tumor removal has evolved into a full-blown nightmare. I feel like we are on a merry-go-round we can never get off of!  I'm just feeling very desperate and depressed, as is Frankie.  He's been such a great patient and gets out walking several times a day now without too much prompting.  He still won't sit in the chair too long as it puts pressure on his abdominal incision, but a least he is walking and still passing gas.  So please pray for him that this whole nightmare will end soon.  I really appreciate it!  

I'm holding up OK. My mother-in-law and I are very tired as we both haven't been sleeping too well at night. My fibro is in flare-up and her RA is in flare-up. No doubt as to the reasons why!  But we keep on going, day after day after day. Frankie sure does appreciate our visits and we enjoy seeing him, since it's the ONLY thing we can do for him at this point.

My fibro is in full-blown flare-up and I've got all the symptoms I just love back: unrestful sleep, fogginess, my muscles spasm and ache and all my tender points are tender! VERY much so.  I waddle up to the hospital with my walker like I'm a hundred years old.  I just want things to be OK and back to normal soon.  Please God, is that too much to ask?

Hope you all are doing OK and please have as pain-free week as you can. I will try and do the same.  

God bless,
Until next post,
Missy

  

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