Thursday, July 15, 2010

Quick Sand

Howdy, friends!
The tests that Frankie had a few days ago show that he has a partial small intestinal obstruction.  The doctor yesterday explained that SOME of the stomach contents and contrast he's ingested are getting down into the small intestine, but a lot are still remaining in his stomach.  Too bad we can't get him some industrial strength drain-o or something! (LOL!)  He's had to have the NG tube replaced three times so far because they keep "coming out." The first time was in radiology - and remembering back to my nursing days, I'd send a patient down with a patent IV and they'd return to me with either it being clogged or out altogether!-and the other two times Frankie accidently dislodged it.  Or I THINK it was an accident! Frankie has been "out of it" the past two days due to them giving him Ativan. That really knocked him for a loop.  Who would have thought that he could take a pain med FOUR times the strength of Morphine and not have a problem and then take an anti-anxiety med like Ativan, the smallest dose, and have it affect him like it did!  Luckily the doctor discontinued it yesterday and I just got a call from my husband, the first one in two days, and he finally is starting to sound more like himself and not as foggy.

I feel so bad for the guy. He's depressed. I'm depressed. My mother-in-law is depressed. We all are! It's like we are walking in quick sand and the more we push to get through it, the more it sucks us down within.  I think they should name a wing after Frankie at the hospital.  I've been there so many times, the car could drive itself there now.  With how tired and worn out I've been, I think it HAS taken me there by itself...LOL!  The only "cure" for small intestinal obstruction is to walk, walk, walk and time to resolve itself.  So his mom and I are drill sargeants and when we get there, his feet are poundin' the pavement, so to speak. He needs LOTS of motivation and we have been pushing him all the way.  I think he was using the Ativan as a way to "escape" this world he's been plunged in. Can't say I blame him, but the Ativan made him so drowsy, he couldn't walk. And we can't have that. I want him home...preferably some time in my life time!

My fibro has been absolutely horrible. ALL my trigger points are triggering! There is not ONE part of me that doesn't either ache or throb. I've got this problem with my big toe on my right foot where it just throbs and is kind of red. It rubs against the other toe. I showed it to the doctor yesterday at my appointment (and I had to go alone, no hubby :( ) and she said it wasn't infected, so I'm just leaving my shoes off at the hospital and going around in just my socks.  I have a bundle of nerves on the top of the same foot that when the shoe hits that, it hurts like heck!  I even had to get a larger sized shoe to fit my big feet in due to the swelling that I still have and nobody knows how to get rid of.

I visited my favorite physical therapy store- Active Forever- and purchased a pillow for my neck that is absolutely wonderful. It's shaped like a horseshoe and craddles my neck and shoulders. I also got a body wrap that goes over my shoulders and you can have it either hot or cold - I chose cold as that helps when the temps are up to 115 degrees outside- no kidding about that, either, that is our high expected for today!  I don't really want some hot thing draped over my shoulders! But the cold feels sooooo good!  Check out the link above. They have all kinds of stuff for pain and fibromyalgia and all at reasonable prices.  They REALLY should give me commission, don't ya think?  That is also where my TENS machine came from and where I get my electrodes. One stop shopping! Gotta love it!  So now when I go to bed, it's a therapeutic experience- with my wedge pillow that goes under my legs and elevates them, my neck pillow and my ice packs.  When I wake up in the morning, my wedge pillow is usually to the side of me, my neck pillow stays properly in place and my ice packs on the floor!  So I do manage to toss a little bit in the night, which is probably why I wake up very stiff and have a lot of pain in my back and legs. I need to come up with some way to strap my legs to the pillow wedge to keep them from moving!!  LOL!

Alrighty, that is it from my corner of the world. To end this post, I've chosen another poem from my high school years poem archives. Hope you like it.

A Road Called Life

I have prepared forever,
As long as I can remember
For the road that is ahead of me.
I have been experienced
Through past experiences
And I have been
Through enough of life's ups and downs
To be able to handle the real thing.
I wake up today
And it is time.
I am no longer "too young,"
But a mature adult
That must travel down that road.
I stop momentarily before getting up.
Some don't make it down the road,
But I will try.
I smile and get ready
To walk on that road.
I am ready
And I walk to the door that leads out.
My hand on the knob,
I stop.
My feelings all surface now,
Pleading me to stop.
To stay in my safe place
To remain sheltered a little longer.
They are so strong
What if I fail?
What if I lose?
I can't answer these yet
Because experience hasn't taught me
The answers.
With my second wind,
I think again.
I will try my hardest
And if I fail
It won't be because I haven't tried.
With that strength,
I open the door.
Talking a deep breath,
I begin down a road called life
And it's scary as Hell.

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