Sunday, August 22, 2010

Unsettled

Hello, all!

I've noticed in all my "blog journeys" that a lot of people are having flare-ups. A lot of people are depressed, in pain, confused and just plain exhausted.  I feel very "unsettled" myself.  My hands are shaky, my legs are riddled with horrible spasms that take my breath away and I'm having whole body jerks at times.  I can't even begin to say what medicine is responsible for the above, if any. I take so much stuff to get through the day, it's ridiculous. I made a list and counted out my medications and I take 23 medications a day!!!  I kid you not.  Every time I go to the doctor, seems like we are adding one more and not taking any away.  It is my hope that if I get the Lap-band procedure and can lose weight, I can get rid of the hypertension and diabetes medications.  Maybe even go down on the prednisone.  Wouldn't that be nice?  Maybe I would even get my face back, instead of looking like the surface of the moon!

My feet are still huge, absolutely NO improvement has been made. I haven't had "normal" looking feet since February, after I got the back injections.  That "Baxter's nerve" thingy in my heel is still killing me, so I'm limping around the house as I can't put full weight on either leg without severe pain.  I just finished putting away a few dishes and I'm so sweaty, you'd think I just came back from a 5 mile jog!  I just feel absolutely helpless and useless!!  Trapped inside myself.  Have you ever felt that way?

My husband has been very quiet since coming home from the hospital. I've asked him a million times if something is wrong, is he upset about something, or in pain and the answer is always no.  But he has changed since coming home.  I think it's just post-op depression and dragging around that JP drain doesn't help.  It's almost like you can't forget about the surgery and move on while you still have a drain pulling you down!!  Tomorrow he has the surgeon's appointment and maybe he can be rid of the drain.  It still is draining a little bit of fluid, but the color hasn't changed nor does it have that horrible smell before he went into the hospital for the pseudomonas infection.  I hope this mood of his lifts soon.  Between that and my feeling "unsettled", I'm a nervous wreak!! I hope this feeling I have is just a reaction to everything that has ALREADY happened, NOT what is yet to come.  I can't take much more.....I'm tapped out!!  Filled to the top!

Well, it's almost time for my luxurious afternoon siesta.  I'll put my feet up, get comfy cozy and "read" my book....with my eyes closed! That's what has been happening lately. I go to read and the next thing I know, the book is on the floor and two hours have passed.  And I still feel just as tired after as I did before my nap!  Gosh, I love this damn fibromyalgia.  It just makes you feel so good!!!  ARGH!!!!!!!!

I'm sorry about this post.  As you can tell, I'm in "fibro fog" and can't be held responsible for my actions..LOL!  Things will be OK, I keep telling myself. They just have to be.

Hope you all are doing OK.
Until next post,
Missy

2 comments:

  1. Oh sweetie, I understand. It's horrible to feel so unsettled, but I'm learning it's just part of the process for all of us. This too shall pass and everything will be okay. Hang in there!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you so much, Rochelle, for your sweet comment. I know it will pass.....but could it do it a little quicker? LOL....

    ReplyDelete

I would LOVE to hear your thoughts about my blog post today. Would you kindly leave a comment for me?
Thank you so much!

Daily Blessings

Blog Directory

Blogarama - Blog Directory

Make Fibro Visible!

Make Fibro Visible!
It's been invisible for FAR too long!!!

Member

  • Perspective
  • Confidentiality
  • Disclosure
  • Reliability
  • Courtesy

medbloggercode.com

My Worldwide Visitors

free counters

Come back soon, OK?