Monday, August 30, 2010

Lonely

Howdy, peoples!

Hope this post finds you in as good as health as you can get....however, if you are anything like me, you are in agony!  I don't know what hurts more-my back or my feet. The arch on my left foot hurts so much I can't even bend it or circle my ankles like I do to keep the circulation flowing through my feet.  I had X-rays done when I went to the podiatrist last week so when I see him again on Wednesday, I'll ask him what showed up.   My feet are so incredibly swollen that I've got cracks in the skin on the top of each foot.  You'd need to send in a search party to find my ankles again.  I'm just so scared that they are going to stay like this forever.  I've had all kinds of tests, ultrasounds, X-rays that show NOTHING.  The cardiologist I went to just shrugged it off as being a "gravity" problem because of my weight.  I'm so tired of everything being the fault of my weight.  What are they going to blame next when I lose the weight?  My hair color?  Yikes!!!  It's just frustrating.

And then there's my husband.  His pain specialist a few months ago started him on Savella.  Why? I have NO idea. He DOESN'T have fibromyalgia and I think it is starting to mess with his brain.  He has definitely changed in mood and mentation since he started the Savella.  He just sits like a zombie either in bed or on the couch.  This afternoon it took me two hours to get him out of the house to run errands.  I thought the fresh air would do him so good.  He has no energy, no motivation, no enthusiasm for anything.  Even the computer doesn't interest him like it used to.  So I'm logging in some quality hours but I'd rather have it be like it used to be where we share it and he was excited to play on it.  Now it pretty much is mine for the taking...and I take it. But I'm lonely.  He won't talk to me.  I ask questions, he grunts answers.  He says nothing is wrong, nothing is bugging him, he doesn't know why he's so tired.

I know he's been in the hospital a lot this summer.  That can make anyone a little depressed.  Nothing went like we planned and he still is carting around that drain that he hates.  But we tell him that everything is OK now, we got through the rough parts together.  And that when I start this lap-band journey, I'm gonna need all the help and support I can get.  So, my mother-in-law came to the conclusion that he is over medicated.  He has an appointment with the pain specialist, I plan on telling him everything and I think the Savella is the reason for it.  He was on Prozac a long time ago and was a zombie then, too.  He just doesn't do well with anti-depressants ....maybe because he doesn't need to be on them!  So I think if we start weaning him off the Savella, maybe my husband will emerge from this lone figure on our bed or sitting on the couch.  I can only hope.  I told him today on our outing that the GPS unit talks to me more than he does!  And it's true!!  When he gets paid, I should get me a "Tickle Me, Elmo" doll...at least Elmo will laugh and giggle!  What I wouldn't give to hear my husband laugh again!!

Onto other brighter things.  Jack is such a cutie and believe me, he knows it. I wake at 5am, eat and start my computer duties. Jack thinks that he should have ALL my time and doesn't like me ignoring him when I'm on the computer. So what he does is he goes and I swear, he "body slams" himself against the closet doors, which then emits a rattle that just about rattles me right out of the chair!!!  I have no choice but to open the door as he won't shut up until I do and yesterday morning he went in, got on top of a plastic bag full of clothes and all you could see was his cute little face peeking out behind a curtain of hanging clothes.  Instead of scolding the little monster, I grabbed my camera instead and here he is:

Now how on Earth can I yell at something like this?  Plus, he looks real worried, doesn't he? LOL!  I took another one, farther away.  I've titled it, "The Closet Has Eyes."

Isn't he something else?  He just loves closets, drawers, shelves and anyplace else he knows I don't want him to be!  And then he looks up at me with those big gold eyes and I can't for the life of me punish him.  He has me soooo wrapped around his tail!!!

That pretty much is the scoop around here.  I can't believe we are almost into September.  Where has the time gone?  I sure do hope September is a better month.  We all deserve it.

God bless ya all!
Until next post,
Missy

PS...please don't be shy about leaving me comments. I love 'em and appreciate your input.  Is there anything I should improve? Am I doing something you really like? I hope so!  Share with me!  Thanks.

4 comments:

  1. I'm sorry you're so lonely. There's nothing worse than being lonely when you're not actually ALONE. I hope you hear him laugh again soon. At least Jack is making you laugh. Cats love to be in small places. It makes them feel safe. Maybe he is feeling the stress too. I say let him hang out wherever he wants. But that's coming from the wrong pet parent, right? Don't you just wish you could put a drain in your ankles. I'm so sorry. Have they decided if you can have the surgery since you had that clot?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi! Thank you for stopping by! It's always good to hear from you. I really love your "tattle tails" blog about your dogs. I've been thinking of doing something like that for Jack, but didn't want you to think I"m copying you or anything! Jack sure does make me laugh-all the time. I did just let him have the closet. It sure beats hearing him body slam into it every morning! He is quite the character! Yes, I wish I could put a drain in my ankles. I took an extra Lasix this morning, to "jolt" my body out of its funk. We'll see if that helps. From a medical stand point I can have the surgery. Yay!!!!
    You have a great dayW

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hi Missy, I would say your hubby is overmedicated from the sound of it. why is he on antidepressants..he probably does not need them.

    Nice to meet you, I also have Fibro..and depression. stop by and say hi..

    Barb

    ReplyDelete
  4. I would not think you would copying me. If anything I would think "hey, somebody thought I had a good idea." So go for it. Unless you get rich off of it. Then at least tell people you got the idea from some girl that used to blog about her dog or something you can't really remember.

    ReplyDelete

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