Monday, September 27, 2010

Losing Ground

Hello, peoples!

Hope all is well in your neck of the woods!  It's been so incredibly HOT around here that I think someone forgot to tell Mother Nature that it is supposed to be FALL!!  Yesterday in Phoenix we hit 104 and today I think it's supposed to be 106.  We'll be cooling down over next weekend, I think.  Thank goodness!  I'm so tired of being a "sweat pool!!"  LOL!!

I'm sure you've noticed I made a few minor changes to the blog. Hope you like it. I changed the main image to a beautiful sunset shot I got at the lifeguard station on Mission Beach, CA.  I moved all the sidebar items over to the right hand side of the screen and took a lot of stuff off of it that wasn't working...the Amazon stuff, for instance. I never made one lousy sale. They even wrote me and said that they noticed I hadn't made a sale.  Well, how can I in this crappy economy?  Nobody is buying anything anymore!!  So off you go Amazon.  I just checked the status of my  Google Adsense and it is still awaiting approval. What, are they reading one line per WEEK?!!!  It's been like that for about two months now.  So I give up. Both services can go where the sun don't shine!!!

I also switched out a picture in the post "Down Memory Lane Part II."  It was the one with Santa Claus.  I thought it was me, but my Aunt Penny wrote and told me actually that was my cousin Jenny!  So I have a new picture that I know is me for sure.

I've been in quite a mood.  It just seems like I'm losing ground here.  When my mom died and we very first came to Phoenix, I could walk around the block with my dad (without a walker...I didn't even have one until later in the year 2009) and with Carol, my mother-in-law.  Now I'm lucky if I can walk from my bedroom to the bathroom, which is only a few feet away.  Thank God the house is all one level or I would never make it.  I didn't have the problems with neuropathy when I very first came here.  Now, I've got it so bad it keeps me awake at night.  I wish the person with the fire torch would cut it out down there!!  I also get that "pins and needles" sensation that goes with neuropathy.  I think I'm on the maximum of Neurontin and can't take anymore.  So I just suffer with each agonizing step I take.  I keep my feet elevated a lot, which means I don't use the computer as much as I used to. :( I miss it.  It's just another thing this disease has taken away from me!!

I guess I'm just scared that I will never have a "normal" life again.  It's gonna be ruled by medications, doctor visits, specialists and tests.  Do you worry about that, too?  That your life will never be the same again?  It's scary, isn't it?  I feel like the fibro has chosen for me which road I take in the game of life....and I hate being told what to do!!!  And all the things I used to do, I was HEAVIER than what I am now!  It just doesn't make sense.

NOTHING about any of this makes sense!!  I just want my life back again, no matter how much I complained about it then about silly things...I'd give anything to have those silly things back again!!

I hope this post finds you in a better state of mind than I am. I'm just going through a low period and it helps to blog about it.  So thanks for listening and being there for me, dear friends.  I don't know what I'd do without you!!

God bless,
Until next post,

1 comment:

  1. I'm really afraid of being like this forever too. I just keep trying different things and see if anything works. I'm trying to exercise to build my strength again. I am so weak it is unreal! I keep waiting for this "flu" to be over! It is hard to balance between making yourself stronger with activity and throwing yourself into a flare. I wish I knew the answers but you are not alone. Hugs, Patti


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